Would YOU go shooting with Ted?
Where I work, an administrator left, and his incoming emails are being forwarded to me for a while in case something needs to be dealt with. There's an autoreply set up so people are notified that he is gone, so don't think I'm spying on his email. Of course, personal stuff shouldn't really be coming to a work email, but we all know it happens.
So anyway, I've gotten not one but two emails (meant for this former employee) from Ted Cruz this week, inviting me to come shooting with him! Wowser, I can't think of anything I rather avoid. Although he may end up being a skilled shooter like Dick Cheney, and I'd be shot in the face.
Here it is, in all its RWNJ Tea Party glory for your reading pleasure... including the bold and italics from the original.
I swear I thought this was something from The Onion.
When elected President -- I will ensure your Constitutional right to keep and bear arms is not infringed upon.
But not all my opponents agree. That's why I hope you'll join the ranks of liberty-loving Americans supporting my campaign to ensure that our Constitutional gun rights are protected.
Do that today -- sign up for an opportunity to join me for an afternoon of shooting -- before the June 10th entry deadline. After you've entered, make a generous Shoot With Ted contribution of $35, $50, $100 or more to my campaign. Together we can reignite the promise of America and bring true, conservative leadership to the White House.
I'm coming under attack from the left-wing media and even Republicans who want to label me as an extremist -- all for supporting a fundamental right -- your right to keep and bear arms.
Yes, Ted would certainly like you to donate to his campaign. No implication here that your donation will get you a better chance at your dream of shooting with Ted. Nope.
In 2008, as Texas Solicitor General, I drafted a key, pro-gun brief to the U.S. Supreme Court in the Heller v D.C. case and earned the signatures of 31 state Attorneys General to uphold the right to keep firearms in the home for self-defense. *We won that case in a 5-4 landmark decision.*
Then in 2013 -- after Barack Obama and Harry Reid pledged to pass gun control in the U.S. Senate -- I fought back, ready to shut down the Senate to stop any legislation undermining the 2nd Amendment right to keep and bear arms.
I not only believe in the Constitutional right to keep and bear arms, but I also have a solid record of fighting for it -- tooth and nail.
Next, don't forget to play on the fear. You will lose your gunz if Ted doesn't get elected:
If you agree with me -- that the 2nd Amendment is vital to our liberty and freedoms, and we must do whatever we can to defend it -- then I'm asking you to step forward and show your support by entering a contest to come shooting with me. Don't delay, there are just eight days left to enter.
Your Constitutional right could depend on it.
For liberty,
Ted Cruz
But wait! There's more! Those evil commie Democrats will try to take your guns away if Ted doesn't stop them. Especially that Hillary.
P.S. If Hillary Clinton is going to join with Barack Obama and the gun grabbers and come after our guns, then I say, "Come and Take Them!" Meanwhile, I will continue to stand for the Constitution, defend the Second Amendment, and continue the responsible use of my own firearms. Will you join me? Click here to enter for a chance to go shooting with me, and after you sign up, please make an immediate donation of $35 or $50?
The second email came a day later with the subject line, "Come shooting!" Which, now that I think of it, could be interpreted in several different ways. It was asking WHY WHY WHY I hadn't replied?? And the sender was "Ted Cruz's iPhone." Seriously?
Just had to share, because I thought it was hilarious.