Did you know they teach conservatives how to get you to call them stupid?
Here’s Ann Coulter in How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must):
You must outrage the enemy. If the liberal you’re arguing with doesn’t become speechless with sputtering, impotent rage, you’re not doing it right. People don’t get angry when lies are told about them; they get angry when the truth is told about them. If you are not being called outrageous by liberals, you’re not being outrageous enough. Start with the maximum assertion about liberals and then push the envelope, because, as we know, their evil is incalculable.
They want you to be outraged. They want you to forget about what you believe and call them stupid. They want the phony conservative/liberal fight.
If you Google “Saul Alinsky,” all the top sites that come up are conservative with the #1 site being Glenn Beck’s. Beck is fascinated by Alinsky and talks about him all the time. He is so fascinated that much of his book Arguing with Idiots is based on Alinsky’s rules. He and Coulter and others have taken one of Alinsky’s rules about outraging people and corporatized it. This is one reason why the people you generally hear talking about Saul Alinsky are conservative. I didn’t know who Saul Alinsky was until I heard about him from conservatives.
Anyways, you’re likely familiar with some of the tactics designed to enrage you and leave you sputtering with rage or calling conservatives stupid.
Why not just call them stupid then?
Why they do what they do and why it’s not a good strategy for you personally
Corporate special interest groups have a government; it’s called the U.S. Chamber of Commerce.
Martin Gilens and Benjamin Page from Princeton recently confirmed what everyone already knew: our representative democracy doesn’t respond to we, the people, it responds to corporate special interest groups.
Multivariate analysis indicates that economic elites and organized groups representing business interests have substantial independent impacts on U.S. government policy, while average citizens and mass-based interest groups have little or no independent influence.
The wealthy and corporate special interest groups have their politicians. All they have to do is divide people enough while they pass the legislation they want passed.
This is why their major strategy is divide-and-conquer.
Corporate special interest groups want people fighting with each other over something they don’t care about while they make off with the bank.
If we play divide-and-conquer, this distracts us from fighting corporate influence and winning people over to better ideas.
We want strategies that bring people together to act.
This is why I suggest that our #1 goal should be winning people over to better ideas. And by ideas, I mean something very specific, something much closer to values or beliefs than to policies (what we usually think of as ideas).
This is how Occupy succeeded briefly with the fight against the 1%.
Leading change
This is paraphrased from John Kotter’s book Leading Change:
Three groups of 10 individuals are in a park at lunchtime with a rainstorm threatening. In the first group, someone says: "Get up and follow me." When he starts walking and only a few people join in, he yells to those still seated: "Up, I said, stupid, and NOW!"
In the second group, someone says: "We're going to have to move. Here's the plan. Each of us stands up and marches in the direction of the apple tree. Please stay at least two feet away from other group members and do not run. Do not leave any personal belongings on the ground here and be sure to stop at the base of the tree. When we are all there ..."
In the third group, someone tells the others: "It's going to rain in a few minutes. Why don't we go over there and sit under that huge apple tree. We'll stay dry, and we can have apples for lunch."
Remember, our goal is that we want people to walk with us. No one. I repeat no one will follow you if you call them stupid.
I’ve been accused of being nice. Nice has nothing to do with it. My goal is to win allies. You don’t win allies by calling people stupid.
Now you may not win over the true believers, but I can guarantee you won’t win anyone over if you’re calling them stupid.
If you call them stupid, you’re doing exactly what pundits like Beck and Coulter want you to do. Blow your cool and engage in a pointless fight.
It still never ceases to amaze me though how people try to lead by telling people they're wrong (the first scenario) or micromanaging them (the second).
People will follow you when you lead and give them better options.
I've done this with conservative newspaper editors, friends, people at work, conservative lawyers, and even a member of the Ohio Republican central committee.
And yeah, some people won’t follow. Who cares? Win everyone else. Now let’s look at some better strategies for winning people over.
Goal: Win people over |
1. Start with why |
2. Focus on independents |
3. Don't feed the trolls |
4. Inclusive humor |
5. Lead |
6. Ask questions |
7. Show you understand a concern |
8. Use “we" |
9. Be relentless |
1. Start with why
Simon Sinek has the #1 TED talk of all time. It’s called “How great leaders inspire action”.
His premise is simple and he uses the following circle to explain it.
Sinek explains that every organization knows what they do, they offer a product or sell a service. Some organizations know how they do it. These organizations typically add some kind of value to their product or service that sets them apart from the competition. Very few organizations, however, know why they do what they do.
Why we do what we do is typically a purpose, cause, or belief.
Sinek argues that great organizations think from the inside out while average organizations think from the outside in. The example he uses is Apple.
If Apple were like most organizations, their marketing message might sound like this:
We make great computers (what). They’re beautifully designed, simple to use, and user friendly (how). Want to buy one?
We say what we do and we expect some kind of inspired action. This is what most of us do.
Instead, Apple communicates like this:
We believe in challenging the status quo and thinking differently (why). The way we challenge the status quo is by making our products beautifully designed, simple to use, and user friendly (how). We just happen to make great computers (what). Want to buy one?
People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it. The goal is not to do business with everybody who needs what you have. The goal is to do business with people who believe what you believe.
If you don’t know why you do what you do and people respond to why you do what you do, how will you ever get people to want to be a part of what it is you’re doing?
Now let’s compare this to our two political parties.
Here’s the Republican pitch:
We believe in family values, small government, and personal freedom (why). We challenge big government and liberals who are in power to elect people who hold our beliefs (how). This will make our country better by making government smaller and more efficient (what).
By comparison, here’s the typical Democratic pitch:
We will protect social security, defend Obamacare, implement campaign finance reform, hold Wall Street accountable, protect the environment, and fight for marriage equality (what). We will do all of these things if you elect Democrats (how).
Democrats start from the outside of the circle, Republicans from the inside.
People often don’t understand why we want what we want. What they hear is what sounds like a lot of “government.” They hear a very strong vision from one side and a lot of policy proposals from the other. And we don’t understand that they don’t understand. So our gut reaction is often to call them stupid.
We have very strong beliefs. The biggest mistake I see people make is to assume these beliefs and jump to solutions. Practice saying “I believe ___” and starting with why when you talk about politics with the people you know.
Think this doesn’t work? Here’s me getting 59 likes on RedState talking about my beliefs about freedom of religion.
If we want to people to respond and take action with us, we should start with why and what we believe.
Here's Sinek's full TED talk:
2. Focus on independents
Are you really going to make any progress with that true believer you’re factsplaining to?
That. Guy.
Or are you just responding because you’re angry?
Win the independents and that guy won’t matter. Target people who are willing to have reasonable conversations.
3. Don’t feed the trolls
If someone you’re talking with just wants to liberal bait, don’t give them the satisfaction.
A while back I was having a good conversation with a Texan who leaned conservative but was fairly independent. While we were talking some nutjob hopped on and attacked me. The Texan responded back to me, “Don’t worry about him. He’s got nothing to say. Just kick him to the curb.”
We continued to talk and completely ignored the asshat. One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received.
I’ll usually say what I believe a few times in a few different ways and if they keep being an ass, I’ll simply stop. My point has been made.
If they want to look like an ass, that’s not my problem.
4. Inclusive humor
Inclusive humor is humor that everyone can joke about.
Every now and then I post something like the following to the political forums where I talk to conservatives:
Inclusive humor shows you’re human and not an enemy.
Sarcasm or satire (or any humor with a target) makes you look like the enemy they say you are. Satire can help unite your base, but remember, here, we’re talking about strategies for winning people over.
5. Lead
Bret Simmons offers some tips on leadership from the movie We Were Soldiers. The clip contrasts two different approaches and how one really isn't leadership.
One of his key points is that you want to focus on the behavior, not the person.
And yes, as discussed, if someone is deliberately trolling you, this isn't going to work. Most people aren't, however. Most people genuinely believe what they've been sold and if you treat them as people, they are much more likely to listen.
6. Ask questions
How did we defeat Cliven Bundy? Were we able to convince him with facts and our dazzling policy proposals?
Nope. Someone handed him a mic.
Party conservatives couldn't flee fast enough.
Many of the ideas conservatives have are pretty bizarre and very frequently conspiratorial. If you’re in a public forum, especially one with independents and someone says something a bit out there, ask them more about it.
There’s a good chance they’ll tell you. When they do, just be sure not to call them stupid. It's ok if they look bad. When you call them stupid, however, you look bad. Instead, state what you believe and why you think it's better.
7. Show you understand a concern
We tend to focus on wanting to get our point across. What people feel when you do this is: “You are not listening. You are trying to push your agenda.”
You’ll have more luck if you can actually have conversations with people where you demonstrate you’re listening to what they’re saying.
My favorite example is climate change.
Most conservatives will tell you in private that they believe in climate change.
However, they think it’s going to harm businesses so many of them will deny it to their death. This does not make them stupid. It is a very deliberate strategy.
Knowing this concern, in conversations I'll talk about climate change as I would talk about any other change in the market that businesses might have to adapt to.
It is happening. Many businesses are viewing it as an opportunity to produce products that use less energy and meet changing consumer demand. We can either lead in this field or someone else will.
It's about as simple as that. When you can demonstrate that you understand a concern, you show that it's a conversation and you want to work with people.
8. Use “we”
Leaders use “we”. They don’t tend to say “I” or “you”.
“You” often sound self-righteous or accusatory. “You” should do what I say you should do.
It’s simple but surprisingly powerful. Focus on issues (like income inequality) and ask people what we should do about it.
In all the recent debate about police and police killings, I found surprising support for job programs.
If we believe in values, why don't we build values by helping people get jobs? Seems like money would be much better spent here than on prisons or police.
9. Be relentless
You may not win right away, but people often come back days or weeks later repeating something similar to what you’ve said.
You could characterize this behavior as "stupid." Instead, I think it’s great. My goal is winning people over. I really don't care how it happens.
People aren’t computers. They don’t make decisions the way we sometimes think they do, based on reason and facts. Not just conservatives, all people.
It pays to be relentless and to repeat your beliefs. Adoption of new ideas tends to be similar to adoption of new technologies.
A few notes
It's good to be outraged and you should. I'm not advocating against outrage. Outrage is also a good media strategy if media exposure is the goal. I also understand sometimes it's good to just vent.
If our goal is to win over people we know, I'm simply making the case that the strategies above have more value and lead to more success.
Sure, there are plenty of other goals and actions. I hope to talk about some of these and different approaches in upcoming Activist Guide posts. My goal here was simply to focus on winning people over because our strength should be the number of people on our side when it comes to the economy (I like to think we can win 99%).
If you want some tips on what we believe, the five things I’ve found most effective are: democracy, a working economy (an economy that works for more people), mutual responsibility, freedom (not consumer choice), and equality. I blog about strategies with the people we know here on dKos or you can search my archives.
The Little Book of Revolution also goes into more detail with specific examples. If you're interested and find value in work like this, please help fund future efforts by purchasing a copy. If you can't afford it and are interested, please kosmail me - I have a few extra copies I'm willing to send to people who want to help.
How do you talk with the people you know who don't agree with you and/or what else would make good topics for discussion?
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David Akadjian is the author of The Little Book of Revolution: A Distributive Strategy for Democracy.