If you break it, you have extended your relationship with inanimate objects to a whole new plane of uselessness.
Put a helmet on before you drink a whole bottle of vodka and ride a sled down your staircase. Or don't.
I respect the shit out of testicles. You gotta give props to anything that spends their entire existence basically chilling in a hammock.
[starts praying]
Dear God and Jesus what’s up how are you? How come Angels have wings but you guys don’t? Why don’t you wanna fly? ANSWER ME.
The early bird catches the worm. The late bird catches a different worm. They both get worms. What I’m trying to say is worms are fucked.