I have two young children. My wife has breastfed both of them.
When Conner Kendall realized that a stranger had posted a picture of her breastfeeding her son at a TGI Fridays, she was hurt and angry.
The post read:
Ok moms out there..I know whn a baby is Hungry they need fed. (sic) I went to know if this is appropriate or inappropriate as I'm trying to eat my Fridays, there are little kids around.. I understand feeding in public but could you at least cover your boob up?! Your input is needed!
When Conner Kendall saw this post put up by a man who was sitting at the same TGI Fridays with his own daughter, she decided to write him a private message/letter. His response did not satisfy her and so she posted her letter publicly. Some highlights:
First, you've shown your true colors to many and you've exposed others who are likewise simpleminded. While you meant to come across as exposing a violation of your rights and the rights of others, you fell into your own hypocrisy. You violated the rights of not only me, but my child. Did you know it is illegal to share the pictures of minors without the expressed permission of their legal guardian? I get that you felt uncomfortable looking at my breasts. Here is a novel idea, don't look at them.
[...]
I am also intelligent, I know all the facts about breastfeeding and I know what I am doing is best for my child. I chose to do it not only because it's rewarding, but because it is what is best for them. I am resolved, not only in my choice to breastfeed my child, but to do it whenever and wherever I want.
I am backed up and supported, in my choice to breastfeed, by FEDERAL law. Wherever I am allowed to be, I am allowed to feed my child there also.
[...]
I pray that if in the future your daughter chooses to breastfeed that she is not shamed and does not have her picture plastered all over social media.
My belief is that if the woman had sat down on this man's lap and put her breast on his dinner plate and positioned her baby on his daughter's head, then by all means tell her she's out of line. Otherwise, unless she starts spraying breast milk in your face from across the restaurant, get it together, man! You're a father!
Read the whole letter below the fold.
Dear Mr. (Name removed, because I'm not bashing like I was bashed),
I just wanted to let you know that I am the mother who was breastfeeding my son at TGI Fridays today. I am also the woman that you felt the need to take a picture of while I was doing so. Then proceed to post said picture on social media in a shameful manner. As I was admiring how adorable your daughter was, you were posting pictures of me on Facebook and Instagram.
While I in no way, shape, or form owe you any explanation I would like to clarify a few things. I did nothing wrong, I turned away to latch my son and pulled my shirt back up when he was finished out of respect for others in the restaurant. I do not use a cover, because my son fights them, screams, and doesn't eat at all while under them. If he had been screaming because he was hungry then I would be a bad mom for not feeding my hungry child. I did not pump before leaving home, A-because my son does not like to take a bottle and B-because it is my right to feed him any way I see fit wherever I see fit.
I wanted to thank you for showing the public your ignorance and for shedding light on a topic that is near and dear to my heart. Through your violation of my and my child's privacy you have done a few things.
First, you've shown your true colors to many and you've exposed others who are likewise simpleminded. While you meant to come across as exposing a violation of your rights and the rights of others, you fell into your own hypocrisy. You violated the rights of not only me, but my child. Did you know it is illegal to share the pictures of minors without the expressed permission of their legal guardian? I get that you felt uncomfortable looking at my breasts. Here is a novel idea, don't look at them.
Secondly, you have given me a platform and a drive to advocate breastfeeding ferociously. You've inspired me into a call of action. Rest assured, there will be action. Not only by me, the one you violated, but others like me who feel you violated them and their rights. Those that you are degrading by shaming the act of feeding their child. How I pity those who would actually belittle a mother for taking care of her child.
Third, you have challenged me and my character. You've given me the opportunity to display what kind of person that I truly am during a time of negativity. I now know that I am strong, you didn't break me, in fact you made me stronger. I am kind to someone who has wronged me. Believe me, this is kind...
I am also intelligent, I know all the facts about breastfeeding and I know what I am doing is best for my child. I chose to do it not only because it's rewarding, but because it is what is best for them. I am resolved, not only in my choice to breastfeed my child, but to do it whenever and wherever I want.
I am backed up and supported, in my choice to breastfeed, by FEDERAL law. Wherever I am allowed to be, I am allowed to feed my child there also. While I appreciate you taking down my photo and backpedalling into a sort of apology...
Know this, I will not tolerate any sort of action like this again. If you post the picture of my child and me ever again I will seek legal action. I will publicly shame you as you have shamed me. I will be supported by a multitude of other moms, dads and advocates of breastfeeding. We will be heard.
I strongly encourage you to educate yourself as well as your daughter about breastfeeding. Breasts are meant to be used to feed our young. It is society that has sexualizes them. Children do not sexualize breasts until they are taught to do so. I pray that if in the future your daughter chooses to breastfeed that she is not shamed and does not have her picture plastered all over social media.
Sincerely,
The AMAZING mommy you photographed nursing her beautiful child.