Note from the editor: Uncharacteristically, there is some good news in today's report. It may surprise some readers that we don't have an actual policy against reporting good news, it's just never come up before. We apologize for any shock this may cause.
For this brief introductory segment, we interviewed the renowned outlaw psychometrist, inveterate raconteur and blatant prevaricator known as OPOL of the notorious OPOL Report (Full disclosure: This
IS the OPOL Report). Here's what he had to say about the current state of affairs:
“Man, this is some messed-up shit.”
He went on to say:
“If you want to know more, buy my book, America's Messed-up Shit. Now available at Walmart and Texaco, in the Organic section. Power to the people!”
Some good news for a change:
SCOTUS decided to let me keep my OBAMAcare – so me and millions of other Americans are insured who otherwise wouldn't be. So a great big 'nanny nanny boo boo, stick your head in doo doo' to the Republicans who tried so hard to take it away. I totally expected the opposite result, so chalk one up for hopeful and measurable progress – for a fucking change. Let's now move on to single-payer - and credit where credit is due on this one Mr. President. Though I was infuriated by the failure to push for single payer, this was at least a step in the right direction, as far as health care goes.
Continuing the good news from SCOTUS (never thought I'd type those words), marriage equality is now the law of the land! Congratulations to all who fought for this and to all who will be freed by it. I am so pleased, overjoyed really, to see so many of my brothers and sisters become fully equal under the law. Equality is sweet. Delayed equality is bittersweet, but amazingly welcome, nonetheless.
I still hold a mighty grudge against SCOTUS for Citizens United, George W. Bush and many other horrible decisions they've made, but thanks for these two. Maybe our SCOTUS is learning. (Update from the comments: They is definitely not learning.)
Scalia accidentally gives good advice:
Justice Scalia's Gay Marriage Advice: 'Ask the Nearest Hippie'
"Who ever thought that intimacy and spirituality [whatever that means] were freedoms?" he wrote. "And if intimacy is, one would think that Freedom of Intimacy is abridged rather than expanded by marriage. Ask the nearest hippie."
Everything up to ' Ask the nearest hippie' was stupid of course. I'd take my chances with the hippie's judgment any day, Mister Justice. Leave it to an authoritarian to consider any freedom not specifically enumerated in the constitution to be absolutely forbidden. Everything not mandatory is forbidden with these types. A hippie might consider someone else, you know, other people and their feelings and opinions - and not just his or her own inability to define intimacy or spirituality to serve as a guide for proclaiming the law of the land. Thank you for playing, “I am a dumbass!” You, sir, are our grand prize winner.
Updated from the comments:
We Asked the Nearest Hippie About Scalia: It Was David Crosby
"I think he's slagging gays and hippies," said Crosby, who had earlier appeared on Huff Post Live. "I don't think he understands either one. I think he's an old reactionary guy and I think he's failing to understand the basic thing: hippies and gay people are people. And we are citizens. And we live here. And we are his neighbors. He may not know that, but we are. And that's how he should see us. As citizens of the United States. Voters. People who should be equal. That was the idea of the country. Not 'maybe.' There's no 'if' about that, no gray area there. The idea was that people would be equal here -- all of us. Hippies and gay people included. Black people, white people, yellow people -- all people. People."
"That's the basic thing that I think [Scalia] fails to see, and that I think the more reactionary elements in the court -- and in politics and in government -- fail to see," Crosby said. "That they avoid looking at -- consciously avoid it. I think they don't want to see us that way. And the truth is, the idea of the country was that that would be the way it was: we would be equal citizens."
He holds out little hope that things are headed in the right direction, either. "That's why the country was such a hopeful thing. But I don't think it's in good shape now. I think our government is bought and paid for, and not responsive to the citizens. At all. But I know what was started out with. I know what was intended, and I have not forgotten and I'm not going to roll over and put my paws up in the air and give up fighting for it. I think that's what we should be doing."
Other hopeful signs:
The confederate flags are coming down. The backlash is southern racism in its death throes – and not a moment too soon. There is still a long way to go to overcome the hate but the handwriting is on the wall. Racists represent the old world and they're on their way out. Society is determined to be done with them. The new world is aiming for racial harmony. That's where we're going because that's where we need to be - where we should have been all along. Life is too hard, all by itself, for all this hate to be making everything harder for everyone. We need to be done with hate.
Now for the more routine, or horrible fucking news:
Re: Fast track & TPP
Fuck you, mother earth and your puny people.
Love,
Corporate America and your duly elected representatives
The 6th Great Extinction
I don't know when Time Magazine started using words like oughtn't, but here it is:
It oughtn’t take appealing to our self-interest to get us to quit making such a mess of what we’re increasingly coming to learn is an exceedingly destructible world. But it’s that very self-interest that led us to make that mess in the first place. We can either start to change our ways, or we can keep going the way we are—at least until the Anthropocene extinction claims one final species: our own.
No, it really oughtn't.
Senate outlaws torture on June 16
Because before that it was totally legal.
Whew! All those CIA guys and FBI guys and soldier guys who tortured all those folks and all those assholes who ordered it sure caught a break by torturing all those folks before they went and made torturing folks illegal. What a close call! Lucky bastards. Dodged a bullet on that one they did.
So here's to torture being illegal - up until the next time they get caught, that is.