Bill Cate is a lifer in the newspaper industry. Forty five years as a publisher, executive editor, political columnist, beat writer and sports columnist has at least given him license to write this blog on Daily Kos.
Along the way he's managed approximately 60 political campaigns (not the presidential kind) that have resulted in many more wins than losses.
He is now semi-retired in Homosassa, Florida and when not fishing serves as marketing director of Irish Ann, a Florida corporation.
Dear Tiger:
You're ruining my life.
Yes, I know, I don't have to watch. I could go on with my pathetic life, catch a few fish, keep tabs on a couple of political races, mow the yard once a week and watch a little 'news' on MSNBC and forget Tiger Woods ever existed.
The greatest van driver of them all and I moved to Florida in early 2014 partly so I could have a better vantage point from which to see more Tiger golf.
There are five PGA tournaments, three of which you regularly play, and your own Hero World Challenge. That's quite a bit of golf for a Tiger junkie.
So, Tiger, I'm up early this morning with the dawn patrol, the dew sweepers, relegated to 'watch you' play on the PGA Tour's Shot Tracker. At least you made the cut which has become somewhat unusual.
I guess the days are over when I could look forward to you teeing off with the lead or in the final pairing. Now you're out there just after they set the pins. I hope you got to bed early but, according to the National Enquirer, it ain't likely.
So here we are Tiger, you playing and me trying to watch, on one of the easiest courses on the tour trying get in the top 25 after blowing a great chance on Saturday to get into position to win. I was thinking for a few minutes on Saturday that it looked like the good old days when you used to win four out of 10 starts.
Tiger, Old White at the Greenbrier is not a hard course. In fact, what's that windmill doing on 18?
I should be happy you made the cut. At least its kept me off the streets this weekend where my friends would be asking me 'Is Tiger finished?, Is he done?, Will he ever win again?' and other such legitimate questions.
It's a hell of a lot better than that eighty fucking five you shot at The Memorial. And that performance at the U.S. Open. Jaysus. I know the course was tough but you're supposed to be Tiger Woods, not lost in the woods.
It's the driving, Tiger. When you wind up that driver swing like a corkscrew and your head bobbles up and down, you have no chance to get the ball in the fairway. Your swing looks a lot more like a combination of Shaq and Charles Barkley than it does Sam Snead.
I would just like to be sitting on the tee behind you saying 'slow and smooth, Tiger, 'slow and smooooooth.' On every tee 'slow and smooth, Tiger'.
What?
'Slow and fucking smooth, Tiger'.
There is nothing to be gained and everything to be lost, Tiger, when you hit the golf ball 325 yards into the water or the woods. You can't win from five feet deep. There are no miracle shots to be had from out of bounds.
Just give me that 260-yarder in the fairway, a smooth six-iron and two putts gets us a four instead of that penalty-laced six. That's what we're looking for, Tiger.
So we have the British Open (The Open Championship) coming up in a couple of weeks, Tiger. You can win. If you'll remember the technique we have discussing, you will win.
Slow and smooth.
Slow and smooth.
Slow and fucking smooth.