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Channeling Phyllis Schlafly, Glamour Magazine's website recently published a piece titled 13 Tips to Make A Man Fall in Love With You. It did not go over well. The reaction on social media was immediate and hostile, so much so that the magazine retracted the article and yanked it down. Here are their handy-dandy tips for all you little ladies out there.
1. Stocking the fridge with his favorite drinks. Bonus points: Bring him back to his fraternity days by handing him a cold one as he steps out of the shower.
2. Making him a snack after sex. It doesn’t have to be a gourmet meal—a simple grilled cheese or milk and cookies will do.
3. Emailing him the latest online gossip about his favorite TV show. You don’t have to have a BFF at HBO. Just share applicable links from your Twitter feed and pat yourself on the back.
4. Bragging about him to your friends, family, the stranger on the street corner—whomever. Proclamations of pride will make his chest puff out and his heart swell.
5. Answering the door in a negligée—or, better yet, naked.
6. Being open to what he wants to try in the bedroom and out. An open mind is attractive no matter your playground.
7. Letting him help solve your petty work problem. Many men don’t do gossip, but they do like to fix things.
8. Spitting out sports stats for his favorite team. Showing an interest in his favorite players will earn you points on and off the field.
9. Making a big deal out of his favorite meal. Does he like hot dogs cut up into his boxed mac-and-cheese? Serve it on a fancy tray in bed to really see him smile.
10. Treating his friends as well as you treat your own. If you win their affections, you’ll win his heart.
11. Sitting side-by-side while he watches his favorite TV. It may not feel like quality time to you, but it’s the best time to him.
12. Giving him a massage—happy ending completely optional. In fact, a foot rub works just fine.
13. Taking him back to third grade with a gentle tease over anything from how you’ll dominate him on the basketball court to the weird way he just styled his hair.
Total crapola, right? Reactions ranged from righteous indignation to clever skewing and
Glamour had it all coming to them. But never fear,
Glamour Magazine, you aren't entirely friendless. Fox News is there for you, baby! On that hard-hitting masterpiece of journalism
Outnumbered today, Andrea Tantaros and company were outraged by the outrage.
With a straight face, Tantaros declared "Look at this list, it has great suggestions in here. After you engage in a little horizontal hula, make him a sandwich. That’s not called 1950s. That’s called kindness. And frankly, I think women should do a little more of that." Tantaros added "What’s wrong with giving your man a brewski when he comes out of the shower?”
Ryan Reiss, the token man on the panel, sort of thought that was ridiculous, asking “Who needs a brewski out of the shower? What are you dating Don Draper? What’s going on? I’ve never gotten out of the shower and been like, ‘I need to get drunk quick.'” This is where things got really sloppy.
If you don't watch the entire video, do yourself a favor and just go to the 1:40 mark to watch co-host Stacey Dash respond that “You don’t have the right woman. I think that’s why divorce rates are so high. Women don’t know how to take care of their men anymore.” After delivering that pearl, Dash proceeds to lasciviously lick her lips while making it very difficult for me to keep my lunch down.
Reiss goes on to justify adultery, saying "There is a point there. I mean there is a reason guys sleep with the housekeeper." That had Tantaros bobbing her head in total agreement, noting “If you’re not answering the door in your lingerie, maybe he’ll run off with the neighbor."
And on it went. Today's Fox News inanity was brought to you from 1952. It was a good year to be chattel.
Now on to Tops!
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July 29, 2015
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