After tormenting myself (and others) by watching both Republican presidential debates this evening, I just went tooling around the internet to see who won the fuckin' things.
Given that they were both massive metaphorical car crashes (for completely differently reasons), Slate has Donald Trump leading the pack of douchebags after the second visual abomination:
Jeb Bush 874 5.6%
Ben Carson 2624 16.8%
Chris Christie 565 3.6%
Ted Cruz 753 4.8%
Mike Huckabee 536 3.4%
Rand Paul 935 6%
John Kasich 2402 15.4%
Marco Rubio 1817 11.6%
Donald Trump 4924 31.5%
Scott Walker 215 1.4%
If you keep refreshing that link, it'll keep changing with the latest votes and stuff. It's pretty cool.
Really, such a telling thing that the Republican base chooses DONALD FUCKING DICKHEAD SEXIST RACIST HOMOPHOBIC XENOPHOBIC TRUMP as their standard bearer, but not at all surprising.
I can't believe I made it three solid hours without breaking any of my electronic devices.
Cheers!