To the office of the Mayor
Dear Sir/Madam
I would like to apply for permission to protest, we don't want to cause a fuss or upset anyone, but we are slightly miffed at what has been going on in our area. We wish to gather and mildly state our grievances. Grievances may be too harsh a word, so we sincerely apologize in advance for any upset they might cause. We were wondering if some area was available to genteelly state our possible misunderstandings with authority. We know it is probably our fault but nevertheless we would dearly like an opportunity to air them in public.
Yours
The mildly upset.
Dear Mildly Upset
We have considered your application and it has been refused.
Yours
The office of the Mayor
Dear Office of the Mayor
Is there anyway we can persuade you to reconsider? We are now slightly more miffed than before.
Yours
The marginally miffed.
Dear Marginally Miffed
No, go away.
Yours
The office of the Mayor
Dear Office of the Mayor
Can you provide any reasoning for your decision?
Yours
The getting slightly angry
Dear The getting slightly angry
All applications had to be presented at the last council meeting, so now you will have to wait until the next meeting.
Yours
The office of the Mayor
Dear Office of the Mayor
Could you please inform us when and where the next meeting is due to take place?
Yours
The getting pissed off
Dear the getting pissed off
It's on our website.
Yours
The office of the Mayor
Dear office of the Mayor
It requires a password to access
Yours
The really annoyed
Dear The really annoyed
You can obtain a user name and password at the next council meeting
Yours
The office of the Mayor
Dear Office of the Mayor
Are you kidding? What the hell
Yours
The very angry
Dear the very angry
The office of the mayor does not respond to bullying. We request that you cease and desist immediately
Yours
The office of the Mayor
Dear Office of the Mayor
We are so terribly sorry, don't mind us.
Yours
the thoroughly told off
Dear the thoroughly told off
Good, now we have important work to do, but are always here to help
Yours
The office of the Mayor