The Republican Party, their presidential clown car now so overstocked with clowns that the wheels have been replaced by clowns, and the door handles have been replaced by clowns, and the radiator, fan belt and every cylinder have been replaced by clowns, really wants current Vice President Joe Biden to
enter the race on the Democratic side.
“We’re constantly denounced as a circus, a clown show, a clown car,” said GOP pollster Kellyanne Conway, adding that competition has been good for the Republican field. But, she went on to add, “Pardon us if we’ve got the giggles over watching the Democrats, the so-called Democratic front-runner, hear [competitors’] footsteps and what was meant to be a runaway victory, what was meant to be a coronation, becomes their own … version of a clown car.”
And so we are treated to a sampler box of Republicans hoping earnestly that the Democratic race gets just one more entrant, because take
that, Democrats, and you can hear the soft sound of crying through the whole piece as they tell themselves that it would make everything all better.
While he is currently still raw from the death of his son, Biden is known for using off-color language and for public displays of affection, and after the summer of Trump, Republicans wouldn’t mind sharing the attention.
“Biden is good for a laugh at least once a week,” said New Hampshire GOP operative Dave Carney. “For anyone in the business of generating clicks, he’s almost as good as Trump.”
Uh-huh. And if you believe Joe Biden giving someone an unwanted hug is like Donald Trump kicking the highest-profile Spanish-language broadcaster in the country out of his press conference with a taunt of "go back to Univision," good luck with that.
The stink of desperation is strong on this one. Most of the rumors of a Biden run are being fueled by a bored press irritated that the Republican side of things is such a glorious clown turducken while the Democratic side continues to be as drama-free as a high school math textbook, but there does remain the possibility that Biden might enter the race if, say, a certain current frontrunner did something so horrific as to render her campaign unsalvageable. Even supposing Biden did decide he wanted to throw his hat in tomorrow, though, the notion that it would distract from Donald Trump saying Things while Scott Walker floats through the race as opinionless thought bubble and Jeb Bush repeatedly trips over his own feet, not to mention All The Rest, seems wishful thinking.
A nice dream, perhaps, for Republican strategists tearing their hair out that their new, rebranded, more-inclusive slightly-less-misogynist slightly-less-racist post-Romney-dunking party has been re-commandeered by a frothing base entirely fed up with dog whistles when the man with the nice hair is offering them a megaphone, but no more than that. Good luck with that clown car, though.