These were the words I heard over our land line, which is now mostly solicitations for solar panels, bogus charities and re-financing of our home mortgage (which we do not have) We have the answering machine pick up after two rings, so it's usually a hang up for these calls, but today I was expecting a real call so picked up the phone quickly.
After a second delay, a voice said "Hi Grandpa....." and I knew immediately what this was, especially since I don't have a Grandson any more than I have a mortgage. But I knew of the scam, and was somewhat tickled to be actually getting the real thing. This was so much better than hearing the script from the hundreds of wounded veterans bogus charities that have proliferated.
I was finishing up with a contractor who was calculating the cost of a major home improvement, whom I had come to like as I showed him the corners of the house that are closed to everyone. He handled the dust and disorder like the professional he is, and we enjoyed the couple hour long interaction. Now he overheard my side of the conversation, "so how bad is it? and "How do you want me to help" and then left the cost estimate and politely bid me good bye without imposing on this obviously disturbing news I was getting on the phone. I couldn't find a way to tell him what this was without breaking the thread of the scam artist, so this essay is also a message to Tony so he will understand.
This very scam was used on my elderly Aunt a decade or two ago. Then, the person woke her up, and with a tearing muffled voice, seemed in distress: and then Aunt Lena asked, "Is this Arlene?" so she composed herself enough to acknowledge the identification. At that point Aunt Lena only wanted to help her dear niece, which if I recall she did to the tune of a couple hundred dollars to pay her fine or whatever it was.
These calls are usually made when the mark is sleeping, so he/she is waking up a bit disoriented and thinking that calls at this time could well be emergencies of some kind. But, with my 'Grandson" who sounded not that much younger than me, I knew what was happening immediately.
I didn't want to ask his name, so I just went on as if I knew who it was. His story went something like this:
I'm in jail, after I got into a little accident. The cop handled me roughly and said if I don't post bail, I'm going to have to stay here overnight" I responded like the befuddled old guy that he was playing me to be, sure that if he had heard a woman's voice, Granddad would have been Grandma, and said "Well, spending a night in jail isn't the worse thing in the world, it might even do you good."
He described how the cop in the jail had hurt his arm, and in response threatened that if he didn't post bail he would put him in jail with the Black guys, and that he "couldn't take that." When he felt he was losing me, he said his lawyer was right beside him, so another guy got on the phone, and Identified himself as George Henry Baker, and yes, he is a member of the California Bar, and offered to give me his membership number.
He had a slightly different recounting of the events than my Grandson. He said that he was arrested and needed the money. My response was that if he is under arrest, posting bail would not eliminate the trial. Scam man number two got into his legal role, "I'm really busy here with seven clients, and I'll explain it to you if you stop interrupting me with your questions. " With that he gave the phone back to Grandson, who then explained he was really my Son, who I guess called his dad Grandpa, or he got confused.
At that point I just decided it was enough, and hung up. I guess I could have gotten the details of where to send the money, but it was enough. These guys are felons, and their scam, mostly to the elderly, are rather reprehensible, and I really didn't want to mess with them. I also know that they get proxy phone lines that can't be traced, and that law enforcement doesn't have the resources to go after them.
Well, that was my morning. And to Tony," There was no crisis, and I'm sorry you may have been lead to believe that a family member was in trouble."