For reasons I won't try to guess, a site called Poetry Business Manager ran a contest to make poetry out of famous quotes from Antonin Scalia. The freedoms of the First Amendment did not include free verse: the poem had to be a ghazal, a villanelle, a pantoum, or a sonnet, containing at least five of the following classic Scalia phrases:
jiggery-pokery
naked judicial claims
Hubris is sometimes defined as o’erweening pride
pure applesauce
I would hide my head in a bag
silly extravagances of thought and expression
Expression, sure enough, is a freedom
How on earth did "legalistic argle-bargle" not make the list?
But first, a word from our sponsor!
Top Comments recognizes the previous day's Top Mojo and strives to promote each day's outstanding comments through nominations made by Kossacks like you. Please send comments (before 9:30pm ET) by email to topcomments@gmail.com or by our KosMail message board. Just click on the Spinning Top™ to make a submission. Look for the Spinning Top™ to pop up in diaries posts around Daily Kos.
Make sure that you include the direct link to the comment (the URL), which is available by clicking on that comment's date/time. Please let us know your Daily Kos user name if you use email so we can credit you properly. If you send a writeup with the link, we can include that as well. The diarist poster reserves the right to edit all content.
Please come in. You're invited to make yourself at home! Join us beneath the orange rondeau redouble...
|
The winner, by Chloe Cunha, is called Ghazal of a One Night Stand, in the Voice of Antonin Scalia. And if the title isn't sufficiently terrifying, here's an excerpt of the 22 Scalia quotes she managed to include:
Remember, darling, when we first met? You were an
arresting illustration, a compelling interest from legs to lips.
How could I resist? You caught me trying to strike a pose
of neutrality, even as the smile began to spread from my lips.
Later that night, you whispered, "Context always matters," and
I replied, "Pure applesauce," your juice dribbling from my lips.
Admit it - you're dying to know where the "naked judicial claim" fits in.
The runner-up, Angele Ellis's Sonnet for Mrs. Scalia, considers the rather grim views her husband has expressed on the subject of marriage.
My own attempt didn't get sent in, since it wasn't an approved form and could only fit in three of the required phrases. But c'mon, the term "jiggery-pokery" just begs for a double dactyl:
Jiggery-pokery,
Anthony Kennedy
wrote a decision that
Ninoy would toss:
"Naked judicial claims
extrajudiciously,
argle and bargle and
pure applesauce!"
On to Top Comments!
From Gwennedd:
RationalSouthCarolina dropped this perfect bombshell
in Dartagnan's diary on President Obama dropping the "U" word on the GOP.
From
smileycreek:
Stop me if you've heard this one about Hillary. (Comment is from stdio, in melaka's diary Hillary's negative feedback loop.)
From the chief cat-herder of Top Comments,
brillig:
In Shaun King's diary, Flying Goat shared the letter sent home to parents. J Rae added to the list.
From
your humble (if antisocial) diarist:
In the Republican kiddie table debate open thread #1, cardinal gave a perfect summation, so read it instead of going through the agony of actually watching these losers debate. For the slightly expanded version, see Formandalay.
And in the main event debate open thread #1, EphemeralNotion suggests the movie tagline. Meanwhile, Shockwave's question got some creative answers, but the hands-down best came from xxdr zombiexx.
Top mojo, courtesy of mik:
1) The distinction being by raptavio +267
2) It's so stupid, it's actually comical. by Bob Johnson +231
3) Debbie Wasserman Schultz is doing a bad job too by voracious +150
4) We have some great leaders coming up in by Save the Mitten +145
5) There is a qualitiative difference.... by Jackson L Haveck +138
6) Paul Waldman's on it by where4art +119
7) This is exactly right, so I want to just by praying manatheist +114
8) In case you haven't been reading The Fix in WashPo by Caerus +106
9) That's absolutely relevant by raptavio +105
10) Further, by raptavio +104
11) Media Matters actually used to be credible by Victor Ward +103
12) Does anyone who tests positive for drugs by rugbymom +100
13) Bernie is nothing at all like their Jesus by Jeff Y +97
14) That's why Canada ... by Dhavo +96
14) Its Official by prwsag52 +96
16) You think that was dumb you should see by askew +95
17) It's actually worse than that. by KBS666 +92
18) If he plays his cards right, he may destroy the by HappyinNM +89
19) This is far from by LieparDestin +88
20) Anyone remember the huge fires in S. California by snoopydawg +85
21) Nothing unique in what he's described by Catte Nappe +82
22) We spend over $3 trillion on healthcare right now by quince +81
22) Except maybe for Trump. by flitedocnm +81
24) The thing is there are legitimate issues to hit by askew +77
25) And that's not even the worst of it... by Argyrios +72
26) To say that Sanders is not part of the status quo by David Harris Gershon +70
27) I strongly disagree with the diarist on one point: by Ezekiel in Exile +69
27) No wonder he was elected President by Vita Brevis +69
27) Our future is in the hands of these by Raggedy Ann +69
30) I think Walker should be tested... by JeffW +67
30) Actually, I WOULD expect this from HRC's by Raggedy Ann +67
Picture quilt, courtesy of jotter: