From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
So Distant! So Aloof!
Sunday on HBO, President Obama makes history yet again:
More on the episode here:
I'm told he's a lame duck.
Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, September 25, 2015
Note: Today is National Lobster Day. To make it especially memorable, breed them in your basement with radioactive isotopes until 40 feet tall and then unleash them on an unsuspecting populace. Add maniacal mad scientist laughter over a loudspeaker if desired.
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8 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til
Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens:
84
Days 'til the
Northwest Chocolate Festival in Seattle:
8
President Obama's current approval rating in Gallup's 3-day average:
48%
Number of people who have joined the Labour Party in the U.K. since Jeremy Corbyn took over Sept. 12:
50,000
(Source: FiveThirtyEight)
Yogi Berra's batting average in the majors:
.285
Number of World Series that Berra had a hand in winning between 1947 and 1962:
10
(Source: Newsday)
Percent of vegetables consumed by Americans that consist of potatoes or tomatoes:
52%
(Source: USDA)
Percent chance Turing Pharmaceuticals CEO martin Shkreli is "disgusting" and "a spoiled brat":
100%
(Source:
Donald Trump)
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Bed, Bath and Beyond Brady
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CHEERS to the honorary cowboy in the white hat. After impressing Congress (well, Democrats anyway) with his call for less "me" and more "we" during a speech inside the House chamber, Pope Francis wrapped up his visit to Washington, D.C. yesterday and drove his Fiat down to New York to address the United Nations General Assembly and visit Ground Zero. This weekend he'll be in Philadelphia for a big outdoor mass (and for Philadelphians a big outdoor mess) expected to draw a million people. Before I forget, here's a pic of Francis blessing the White House beasts:
"Why, of course all dogs go to heaven."
By the way, many people noticed yesterday that John Boehner was
sobbing during and after the Pope's speech. Some people thought it was because he was overcome with joy at being in the presence of such a larger-than-life figure. In reality, he was crying because the Pope informed him upon his arrival that not even God himself can do anything about making the teabaggers behave. So Boehner
resigned today, and the fight is on to determine which lunatic will replace him to schedule pointless votes and call the president names. One thing's for sure: whoever succeeds him is going to have a big job ahead. By which I mean cleaning up four years worth of unemptied ashtrays.
CHEERS to vampire astronomers. Sunday night is a big night for them, thanks to the cosmic phenomenon known as a---[Crack! KerBOOM!!!]---blood moon!!! Now with bonus eclipse…
Blood moon from 2011.
The moon will enter Earth’s much darker umbral shadow at…9:07 p.m. on Sept. 27 in the Eastern time zone, 8:07 p.m. Central time, 7:07 p.m. Mountain time and 6:07 p.m. Pacific time (before moonrise). Sixty-four minutes later, the moon is entirely within the shadow, and sails on within it for 72 minutes until it begins to find its way out at the lower left (southeastern) edge. The moon will be free of the umbra by 9:27 p.m. Pacific time or 12:27 a.m. (Sept. 28) Eastern time. [T]he whole experience ends toward 1 a.m. for the East (with the re-brightened moon now sloping down along the arc it describes across the sky) or during the mid-evening hours for the West.
Here are some photography tips from
NASA's Bill Ingalls. The astrological super-event will provide hours of amazement for stargazers and several months worth of End Times headlines for World Net Daily.
JEERS to close calls. On tomorrow's date in 1955, stocks dropped like a rock…the fastest rate since 1929. The numbers sound positively quaint today:
The Dow Jones dropped 6.5%, 32 points, to 455, with a total paper loss of $14 billion, the largest ever.
Reason: Eisenhower's heart attack. Stocks quickly recovered, though, when the country realized he was
still the president. Or, to be perfectly accurate, when the country realized that Richard Nixon wasn't.
CHEERS to a fine plan. The United Nations General Assembly meets this weekend to unveil an ambitious and extraordinary plan for making the world a better place to live. They devoted countless backbreaking months to the task, pouring themselves and their brain power into the creation of
17 Sustainable Development Goals including "no poverty," "zero hunger," "climate action," "good health and well-being," "gender equality" and "decent work & economic growth." Silly gooses---they could've saved themselves the time by copying and pasting the Democratic party platform.
CHEERS to the new kid on America's block. On September 26, 1789, Thomas Jefferson was appointed America’s first Secretary of State. The most useful words of advice he got from President Washington: "Don’t park in Adams' spot or he'll have your horse towed."
Cleese joins Maher tonight.
CHEERS to home vegetation. Nice cool weekend coming up here---our cue to fire up the teevee for some couch time, starting with
Rachel at 9. On HBO's
Real Time, Bill Maher has a decent lineup including Jane Goodall, John Cleese and Ron Reagan, and tonight on
The Late Show Stephen Colbert talks with Malala Yousafzai. The Pope's comings and goings will dominate cable news channels. New
DVD releases include
Pitch Perfect 2 and 16 "lost" episodes of
The Carol Burnett Show from its earliest seasons. The
baseball schedule is here and the
NFL schedule is here. (The 2-0 Patriots will "declaw" the Jaguars Ha Ha Ha!!!) Sunday night after the season premiere of
The Simpsons on Fox, HBO airs the aforementioned episode of
Vice where
President Obama goes to prison (Oh, lower your erections, Republicans). Plus there's the two-hour finale of
CSI on CBS. And later that night don’t be surprised if John Oliver doesn’t take a crack at making that drug company CEO look like an even bigger asshole on
Last Week Tonight.
And here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Sunday on Meet the Goatee.
Meet the Press: Hillary!!! Plus that Iran-loving serial liar Hewlitt Packard lady, I forget her name.
This Week: Dr. Ben Carson; U.S. Ambassador Samantha Power; Newt Gingrich on Boehner's exit.
Face the Nation: Bernie!!! Plus Gov. John kasich (R-OH) and soon-to-be-former Speaker of the House John Boehner (also R-OH)
CNN's State of the Union: O'Malley!!! Pelosi!!!
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Jeb! Plus Rep Mick Mulvaney (R-SC) and Rep Tom Cole (R-AR) on the pros and cons of shutting down the government over Planned Parenthood funding.
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: September 25, 2005
JEERS to your tax dollars not hard at work. Take a look at the plans for a $223 million bridge in Alaska that, when built using funds from the 2004 transportation bill, will be larger than the town it leads to. Then tell me this ain't a great country.
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And just one more…
A hive of scum and villainy
meets in D.C. this weekend.
JEERS to the backsliders among us. The annual
Values Voters Summit got underway today in the American heartland known as Washington, D.C. (I guess Kansas, Oklahoma and the Dakotas were all booked up.) It's an event where conservative sheeple-herders get together and lay out a clear agenda for taking America forward to the 1890s, thus proving that they not only suck at math but chronology as well. Here's a little reminder of the intellectual brainpower on display at last year's convention, via
The Colbert Report:
Sarah Palin at the 2014 Values Voters Summit: Don’t retreat! You reload with truth! Which I know is an endangered species at, uh, 1400 Pennsylvania Avenue, anyway, truth.
Stephen Colbert: Yes---the truth is in short supply at 1400 Pennsylvania Avenue. Because everyone at 1400 Pennsylvania Avenue keeps insisting it's "a plaza in front of the Willard Hotel."
The traditional media will give the hate fest lots of publicity, including breathless coverage of the presidential straw poll results. Last year's (and 2013's) winner was Ted Cruz. Mainly because he was the only candidate smart enough to stand next to the jar telling his followers not to eat the straws.
P.S. What do the male and female hookers in DC call the Values Voters Summiteers? Reliable customers but lousy tippers.
Have a great weekend! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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