Hello, fellow Kossacks!
Haven't you always wished that the entire global community had full access to every skeleton in your closet and every bad decision you've ever made? A Google into the worst parts about yourself, if you will?
Well, shit, the world's most despicable application idea ever will soon become humanity's nightmare!
You can already rate restaurants, hotels, movies, college classes, government agencies and bowel movements online.
So the most surprising thing about Peeple — basically Yelp, but for humans — may be the fact that no one has yet had the gall to launch something like it.
When the app does launch, probably in late November, you will be able to assign reviews and one- to five-star ratings to everyone you know: your exes, your co-workers, the old guy who lives next door. You can’t opt out — once someone puts your name in the Peeple system, it’s there unless you violate the site’s terms of service. And you can’t delete bad or biased reviews — that would defeat the whole purpose.
...
I KNOW!!!!!
The two amazingly stupid women who invented this lawsuit-after-lawsuit-in-waiting company called Peeple, which already has shares valued at a whopping $7.6 million, are Julia Cordray and Nicole McCullough. I'll just bet they are Republicans or, at the very least, more naive than most elementary school-aged children combined.
They should not be allowed to interact with other homo sapiens, for fuck's sake, because Ms. Cordray actually believes this app will be a good thing for humankind and not at all representative of the coming relationship apocalypse that is sure to sweep the planet by New Year's day:
“As two empathetic, female entrepreneurs in the tech space, we want to spread love and positivity,” Cordray stressed. “We want to operate with thoughtfulness.”
OMGWTFBBQLOLBRBSMDH! INSERT ALL THE EMOJIS HERE! RIGHT NOW!
It's like neither of them have ever been on this thing called the internet before. Really. And It's like they never heard of internet trolls, or maybe these chicks are just too dumb to realize what a messed up idea this is ...
... until Ms. McCullough's college frat ex-boyfriend gets ahold of that motherfuckin' app and goes to town on how terrible she is in the sack. Just wait, because that will totally happen. Mark my words.
Anyway, back to the reasons for Peeple to exist in cyberspace, as if internet gossip now wasn't bad enough:
Where once you may have viewed a date or a teacher conference as a private encounter, Peeple transforms it into a radically public performance: Everything you do can be judged, publicized, recorded.
“That’s feedback for you!” Cordray enthuses. “You can really use it to your advantage.”
Imma give this Cordray lady some feedback right now: listen up, woman. I don't know who the hell told you this was a great idea, but it's literally one of the worst ideas in the history of ideas. You and Ms. McCullough better have an entire legal firm on speed dial the moment this app goes live, because the defamation lawsuits will probably start later that day.
And I hope you are ready for all the suicides, because there will be those, too, you money-grubbing bastard.
Indeed, our technology has finally surpassed our humanity.
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4:52 pm CST: Really bad news from the Daily Kos Legal Team, a.k.a. Adam B:
You can't really sue them! (1+ / 0-)
Remember, Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act immunizes online publishers from defamation liability for content provided to the site by others. (Without it, this site wouldn't exist quite like it does.)
by Adam B on Wed Sep 30, 2015 at 04:39:49 PM CDT
/heavy sigh. Christ, this is worse than I thought then.
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5:21 pm CST: There has been such a strong, negative reaction to this app that the Peeple co-founders set their Twitter feed to private, according to The Mary Sue. Great article there, btw.
Also, CEO Julia Cordray has set up a FAQ at the Peeple website and is trying to respond to the loads of bad press, but the FAQ makes it clear that they still don't get it.
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6:33 pm CST: Well. The CEO and her counterpart have doubled down on the stupid:
An Ode to Courage: Innovators are often put down because people are scared and they don’t understand. We are bold innovators and sending big waves into motion and we will not apologize for that because we love you enough to give you this gift. We know you are amazing, special, and unique individuals and most likely would never shout that from the rooftops. The people who know you will though…they choose to be around you and in your life and support you even when you don’t like yourself. We have come so far as a society but in a digital world we are becoming so disconnected and lonely. You deserve better and to have more abundance, joy, and real authentic connections. You deserve to make better decisions with more information to protect your children and your biggest assets. You have worked so hard to get the reputation you have among the people that know you. As innovators we want to make your life better and have the opportunity to prove how great it feels to be loved by so many in a public space. We are a positivity app launching in November 2015. Whether you love us or our concept or not; we still welcome everyone to explore this online village of love and abundance for all.
Seriously, wtf is wrong with these women?!