Remarkable advances in obstetric surgery at the University of Oklahoma have made it feasible for surgeons to implant mini-Derringers in the amniotic sacs of pregnant women. The intent of this procedure is to enable the growing fetus to defend him/herself from the encroachments of vile abortionists – and of course to actualize the fetus’ God-given right to bear arms.
Wayne LaPierre, President of the National Rifle Association, congratulated the researchers involved. “This really outstanding breakthrough will extend gun ownership rights to the yet-unborn, and give the unborn a fighting chance to take down any abortionist that threatens its life. And it will aid the market for mini-Derringers, which has been a bit slow to-date.”
Kevin McCarthy, the recently elected House Majority leader, stated that “It is incumblent on the House to move forward legislatures that will clarify the legalism of this new procedure, and help to protect the safety of the unborned yet.”