If you blinked, you may have missed the Drone Papers report that was just released. I’m sure this won’t be the last we hear of the investigative report by the crew over at The Intercept and their anonymous source who leaked classified material. The nutshell version: those drones that do so much heavy lifting for United States foreign policy are not as neat and effective as you’d like to think. (Which we all pretty much knew already, now it’s just doubly, awfully confirmed.)
Imagine if the policy of “targeted killings” was carried out by some other means other than those marvelous high tech drone contraptions. (Remember, “drones” aren’t the policy, “assassination” is the policy.) What would we think of a policy that killed people who weren’t the intended targets about 90% of the time? We’re not talking about missiles going off course, we’re talking about intelligence failures and by extension foreign policy failures. We hit what we aim at, unfortunately, much of the time we just tend to aim at the wrong people.
Even though the Obama Administration says that targeted killing is only used when there is an “imminent threat” and there is “near certainty” that all will go just peachy, this is basically a global execution program without due process or transparency. Be sure to read the stories behind this cartoon and dive into the strange world of watch lists, kill lists and interagency warfare.
[serious, fast news reader]
[text: What if drones weren’t so techno-cool?]
The United States has carried out another deadly Hot-Spike-Through-The-Forehead attack in Kunar Province, Afghanistan.
Two suspected militants were killed.
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Having chosen the cautious Hot-Spike-Through-The-Forehead policy, President Obama reassured the public that Hot-Spikes-Through-The-Forehead are only used when a threat is “imminent” and targeting is “near certain.”
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The Administration has not revealed how they determine who receives a lethal Hot-Spike-Through-The-Forehead, yet they assure the public that the Hot-Spike-Through-The-Forehead lists are compiled in the most careful and moral way possible.
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The President went on to state that a targeted killing program using Hot-Spike-Through-The-Forehead technology does not amount to assassination and keeps America safe.
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Foreign news outlets report that twelve civilians were killed with Hot-Spikes-Through-The-Forehead in the latest US Hot-Spike-Through-The-Forehead attack.
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[brighter] Once only the province of the military, Hot-Spikes-Through-The-Forehead are taking the civilian market by storm!
From photography, to . . . pizza delivery?
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[serious again] Recently-released classified documents reveal that nearly ninety percent of those killed by Hot-Spike-Through-The-Forehead attacks were not actually the intended targets of those deadly hot spikes.
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[text: We now return to our regularly-scheduled programming . . . ]
And in other news, another successful US drone strike has killed two suspected militants in the tribal region of Pakistan bordering Afghanistan.
Officials say this latest surgically-precise targeted killing eliminated the number four commander in the second of two local extremist groups affiliated with Al Qaeda . . .