Dear readers, some of you may have noticed the dearth of news from the Kos pond. Well, it wasn't just the election heating things up, but a far more insidious threat to reptilian life. Yes, I admit it; I strayed from the Kos Pond to partake in the pleasures of other swamps. The goings on of other waters enticed me into unwariness.
So, now I have completed Rehabilitation. It was a tough go. You see, I got, well, over-heated, not a thing for cold-blooded reptiles to relish. This is how it went:
Smug frog
Swimming around this new pond, I came across a frog with a great big smile. He induced me to follow him into a region I hadn't yet explored, although I am told that this area was about to "re-develop".
At first this frog seemed to be related to a fellow amphibian who tried to sell me a causeway to Key West. But as I said, Smug was persuasive.
This fellow was apparently quite persuasive, as he had several devoted followers trailing behind him. For those of you technically inclined, this frog and his buddies are scientifically known as Ranus Americanus, var. Kochiansis.
Ranus Americanus, var. Kochiansis
This re-development was somehow connected to "fracking" (a dirty business but not a dirty word--yet). I was told that through fracking, all creatures in the pond would enjoy a substantial rise in their standard of living, although it was not yet apparent what standard it was. Smug frog stated the benefits of the redevelopment would begin from the bottom and work it's way up (as opposed to trickle down). This sounded decidedly democratic to me--share the wealth.
Just then, one of my distant cousins came by, Aloyisius. Smug said Al had just been to the first phase of redevelopment--something about oil shale. Yet I sense that Al's experience had not been beneficial to him.
Aloyisious looking none too well
I tried asking Al what had happened but he could barely croak, unlike Smug who was touting his shale oil cure-all for economic depression. Darn, that frog was convincing!
He had me disbelieving my own eyes. He offered me a direct (Keystone) pipeline to the redevelopment, of which I naively utilized. There I was, in this midst of this new affluence. Then, after a week, I began noticing something strange: my skin was becoming as pale as Key Lime pie.
Key lime skin from redevelopment Spa
It wasn't until the headaches began (which isn't fun because we gators have very little brain as proven by my being scammed by Smug) that I began suspecting something was going awry. This I was told by Smug was merely a "passing phase" to which all newcomers to the redevelopment experience. He mentioned something about the environment, which is a word with too many syllables, so I paid it no mind, though my headaches persisted until the point of tolerability had been passed. Yet, I was still hoping to see how this redevelopment would work out, choosing to stay the course which got me here to this situation.
But then, I looked at some of my neighbors in the redevelopment--two frogs I had just seen a few days earlier.
Frogs being "redeveloped"
Only then did it dawn on me that the standard being raised was the degrees Kelvin allowed in the pond!
I made my escape eschewing (or is it chewing?) the Keystone Pipeline (which I understand drains into the TPP--though this is a fable for another day). Doing what I could, I rescued one R. Americanus, see picture below, before he was also Koch'ed.
Alligator Ed rescuing frog