We’ve heard about the kooky right wing politicians in the "Freedom Caucus," but what about the smart budget wonk who is apparently going to reign them in? Now that House Republicans have nominated Paul Ryan to be speaker of the House, he is pledging to get things done and be the grown up in the room.
Um, this is the same Paul Ryan who proposed numerous draconian budgets that just didn’t add up, right? What he proposed in the past and was initially seen as crazy-right-wing-applesauce, has now earned him a top spot as a wise budget sage and unifying figure. Methinks we’re still in for some serious fights.
The Freedom Caucus is so nutty, they think Paul Ryan, the guy who wants to privatize Social Security, abolish corporate income taxes, estate taxes and capital gains taxes, is a bit of a RINO squish. Well, at least we know the Ryan speakership won’t be boring, yikes. In the meantime, enjoy the cartoon and be sure to read about some of the past Ryan proposals.
[excited, fast-talking, newsreel guy]
When we last left our Congressional Republican savior, Paul Ryan, he was becoming Speaker of the House!
Ryan is the anointed, smart, level-headed budget whiz who will help lead Congress and finally get things done!
(Unlike those crazies on the far right.)
So what are some of Paul Ryan’s level-headed ideas?
Privatize Social Security and raise the retirement age!
Unshackle yourselves, seniors, from the oppressive chains of government!
Turn Medicare into a voucher program, and let the wonders of the free market heal you!
Abolish corporate income tax!
Ayn Rand would do it, why can’t we?
Eliminate Estate and Capital Gains taxes! It’s high time the one percent had a leg up!
Repeal Obamacare! Over sixteen million otherwise-uninsured people can’t be right!
Cut those Pell Grants for college students and Food Stamps for hungry people— enough with the takers!
And be sure to fund the military at astronomical levels because, thanks to budget wonk, Paul Ryan, the numbers just work out!
(* Numbers may not actually work out.)
Paul Ryan, a can-do Congressional savior with a smart head for numbers!
(* Numbers may not represent actual numbers.)
Onward budget soldiers! To gridlock!