From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
"…bless their hearts."
I can't help it. This always happens when there's less than 24 hours on the clock 'til Thanksgiving. My icy cynicism melts away to reveal a heart bursting with Twinkie fluff, pork rinds and a renewed faith in humanity. I know it's just a phase that'll pass. But whenever I'm feeling all mushy gushy, I enjoy dressing up like Mama Grizzly Jesus Reagan and parachuting into the conservative blogosphere to search for comments that reflect our oneness as North American bipeds. I'm happy to say that my latest foray was successful. These are actual pearls I brought back from the sputum-swept outpost known as World Net Daily, where Obama is the anti-Christ and no blood moon goes un-apocalypsed:
Don't brow beat people with the Bible, while taking it out of context.
Students, from 1st grade up, must be taught true history.
Too many negative news stories, which are unbalanced with positive news stories, can drag people down with toxic negativity and give them certain forms of mental cancers, attitude-wise, perspective-wise, and so on.
Rush may think he's an expert, but I doubt it.
The people in Ohio need to get rid of that Bohunk piece of meat for a governor!
You can't be a good debater if you don't have the answers to questions and know what you're talking about, otherwise you could not be considered a good debater,
Carson does not have the temperament or personality to face Putin or to be the president of the USA.
Trump will ruin the country.
We can vote in our primaries, we can go door to door, man phone banks, speak with friends and strangers. But when we finally have a candidate, we dang well better stop the debate, get behind him, or her, and unite.
Don’t feed the trolls.
Disclaimer: These are the only sane comments I found over there, and for the upcoming holiday known as The Holidays I'd like Santa to restore my 72 research hours to my lifespan. The Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots can wait.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Note: As for the rest of the C&J posting week, we'll have our Thanksgiving post tomorrow morning, followed by nothingness on Friday. Back Monday. Have a great holiday and may your end of the wishbone be the long one.
By the Numbers:
Days 'til summer: 207
Days 'til the Smithsonian Holiday Festival in D.C.: 10
Last year that gasoline consumption was as high as it is this year, according to the American Petroleum Institute: 2007
Range of the 2016 Chevy Volt, hich just on the L.A. Auto Show's Green Car of the Year Award: 420 miles
Percent of executives surveyed by Bank of America/Merrill Lynch who expect to hire more workers next year: 54%
Score the executives gave the economy overall, up from 59 last year and the highest in 8 years: 61
Rank of lumpy gravy, overcooking the turkey, and gluey mashed potatoes among the top Thanksgiving FAILs according to Parade magazine readers: #1, #2, #3
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Mid-week Rapture Index:
183 (including 4 false prophets and 1 altered Obama Muslim wedding ring). Soul Protection Factor 8 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day:
Saved!!!
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CHEERS to confronting the bullies among us. Today is International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. The United Nations provides a little reminder that…
> Violence against women is a human rights violation.
> Violence against women is a consequence of discrimination against women, in law and also in practice, and of persisting inequalities between men and women.
> Violence against women impacts on, and impedes, progress in many areas, including poverty eradication, combating HIV/AIDS, and peace and security.
> Violence against women continues to be a global pandemic.
> Violence against women and girls is not inevitable. Prevention is possible and essential.
Just as pink is worn for breast cancer awareness and purple is worn for LGBT Spirit Day, this year the U.N. urges everyone to wear and/or display orange between now and December 10 to show support for the fight to prevent violence against women. On this site I don’t think that'll be a problem.
JEERS to a tense day on the blue marble. Mere hours after Turkey shot down a Russian fighter jet that had violated its airspace, President Obama huddled with French President Francois Hollande at the White House to figure out how to stop the frustratingly-complex issue of attacks by a terrorist cell that makes al Qaeda look like the Easter Bunny (admittedly, a rabid Easter Bunny armed with an AK-47 and a suicide vest, but still)…
President Obama pledged Tuesday to step up assistance to France and other allies fighting the Islamic State, but stopped short of endorsing a French proposal for a new grand coalition that would include Russia. "As Americans, we stand by our friends in good times and in bad," Obama told reporters after meeting with French President Francois Hollande. The United States and France in particular will "deliver justice" to the perpetrators of the Nov. 13 attacks in Paris, and to "those who sent them," he said.
During Hollande's brief U.S. visit (he's off to Germany and Russia next), Obama indicated that he really, really liked his ally from Europe. So now Republicans are back to really, really hating him again.
P.S. Because somebody had to:
JEERS to a bit of a mess. If you're traveling today in the middle-to-western part of the country, you might be better off renting an abominable snowman to carry you and your belongings to your destination. This is what the Thanksgiving map looks like, according to the Weather Channel's Atari 2600 forecast computer:
The gays, feminists and pagans are quick to point out, by the way, that this is not one of their weather messes. Responsibility rests solely on the homophobes, the male chauvinists and the Bible thumpers. If you end up in it while driving, remember: keep your hands at 10 and 2 and your expression like this: <|:-O (The pointy hat is optional, but very stylish.)
CHEERS to minority status. America the great melting pot is getting melting-pottier:
White Christians now make up less than half of the U.S. population, largely receding from the majorities of most demographic groups, with one notable exception: the Republican Party. According to the latest results from Pew Research Center’s Religious Landscape survey published Monday by National Journal’s Next America project, just 46 percent of American adults are white Christians, down from 55 percent in 2007.
Praise Jesus! (I should probably clarify: Jesus Menendez, the Hispanic atheist. Good egg.)
JEERS to Reagan's Katrina Monica Watergate Reagan Moment. On November 25, 1986, the Iran Contra "Affair" busted wide open when Captain Shining City On A Hill appointed the Tower commission to find out what the $#!!#$ was going on. It later resulted in this public admission from Reagan:
"A few months ago I told the American people I did not trade arms for hostages. My heart and my best intentions still tell me that's true, but the facts and the evidence tell me it is not. As the Tower board reported, what began as a strategic opening to Iran deteriorated, in its implementation, into trading arms for hostages. This runs counter to my own beliefs, to administration policy, and to the original strategy we had in mind."
Eleven people ended up getting nailed, but George H.W. Bush pardoned them all before he left office. Some of the Iran-Contra figures, like Elliott Abrams and John Negroponte, would pop up again in the Bush II administration despite the black stains on their names. And Jeb Bush would dip into that well yet again for whatever still-living fossils he could find to fill out his administration. Because truly scurrilous help is so hard to find.
JEERS to History Channel'ing history class. The esteemed Republican opinionators on the Texas School Board---the same ones who allowed textbooks to claim that "the roots of democratic government" date back "thousands of years to Old Testament texts and Biblical figures such as Moses and Solomon"---have rejected allowing university experts to fact-check their textbooks:
The push for more experts to be involved came after more than a year of controversy over board-sanctioned books’ coverage of global warming, descriptions of Islamic history and terrorism and handling of the Civil War and the importance of Moses and the Ten Commandments to the founding fathers. At issue is whether the board should continue to rely on publishers and the public to flag errors. Currently, citizen panels nominated by the board have a narrower mission---to determine whether a book fits into Texas’ curriculum standards.
Last month, Pearland parent Roni Dean-Burren protested that a caption in a McGraw-Hill Education geography text used at her son Coby’s ninth-grade geography class describes slaves abducted from Africa and shipped to North American plantations between the 1500s and 1800s as “workers." After a social-media storm, the publisher apologized and promised to update the caption immediately in the digital textbook and as soon as possible in the book’s next printed edition.
But the references to President Barack Obama as the "Muslim Tyrant in Chief" and the Supreme Court's Obergefell decision as The Great Gay Marriage Locust Plague of 2014? Definitely staying in because duh.
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Five years ago in C&J: November 25, 2010
CHEERS to Deeeeep Thoughts...with Pope Benedict the Fourteenth:
It is better to not spread HIV than it is to spread HIV.
Aaaaaamen!
And just one more…
CHEERS to living a lawng, lawng toim ago in a galaxy fah fah away, ya ****ing ***hole. Twenty-three days and counting ‘til Star wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens opens. (You do have your ticket, right? Titter titter---but of course you do.) Here's a clip of the print they’ll be showing in Brooklyn when it opens December 18th...
We hear the cannoli saber duels are amazing. But bring a poncho.
Have a nice Wednesday and safe travels if you're heading over the river, through the woods and out among the inconsiderate jerks. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
For 44 years, the subject of "You're So Vain" has remained one of pop music's most enduring mysteries. But at long last, Carly Simon has solved the mystery---well, sort of. The singer, 70, tells PEOPLE that the second verse of her famous song refers to none other than Bill in Portland Maine.
---People
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