OK, this is, without a doubt, the oddest place I have ever been to.....
Imagine, if you will, a mating between Walt Disney and Tammy Faye Bakker. And after you have scrubbed that image out of your brain with a scouring pad (sorry about that), imagine the offspring of their blended DNA. The showmanship and kitsch of Disney World combined with the avaricious faux piety of a televangelist.
Yeah, that's "The Holy Land Experience"…..
The history of the Holy Land Experience begins in the 1980's, when a Russian-born Jew who emigrated to the US and converted to Christianity, named Marvin Rosenthal, formed a nonprofit religious group called Zion's Hope. During this time the fundamentalist Religious Right, led by Jerry Falwell and televangelists Jimmy Swaggert and Jim Bakker, were rising to prominence, and Rosenthal's theology was filled with apocalyptic visions of the end-times, in which unconverted Jews would be destroyed. Zion's Hope began an outreach ministry to Jews, hoping to convert them to Christianity.
In 1989, Rosenthal was able to purchase a 17-acre lot of land in Orlando FL. As the locale for Disney World, Sea World, and Universal, Orlando was the biggest tourist center in the world, and Rosenthal saw it as an opportunity for, as he put it, "sharing the gospel with people from all over the earth". The site opened in 2001 as "The Holy Land Experience". Although billed as a "living Biblical history museum", it quickly became known as "the religious theme park".
The centerpiece of the park was a half-scale replica of Herod's Palace, in which various Jewish and Christian ceremonies were held, and drama productions were staged at Christmas and Easter. Several courtyards surround the Palace, in which sermons and "question and answer" sessions about the Bible were presented. The site also contained The Scriptorium, which housed a collection of archaeological Bible texts owned by another Orlando-based fundamentalist Protestant group called Solo Scriptora (the name says it all). The Scriptorium was intended to be a center for the scholarly study of Biblical texts as well as an exhibit depicting the history of the Bible.
In commercial real estate, of course, the most important factor is "location, location, location", and Rosenthal had one of the best locations ever--in the middle of the number one tourist spot on earth. But nevertheless, the Holy Land Experience struggled. Nobody, it seemed, wanted to go to a church Bible-study during their vacation. And the site had already been the target of protests: the Jewish Defense League picketed its opening, declaring that its purpose was to convert Jews, and some conservative Jewish rabbinical groups objected to the display of Torah scrolls in The Scriptorium, declaring that it was against Jewish law to display the Torah for commercial purposes.
By 2007, The Holy Land Experience was $8 million in debt and was on the verge of folding.
Now, the Trinity Broadcasting Network stepped in. TBN had been founded in the 70's and quickly became one of the largest Christian broadcasting networks in the world. Various televangelists--Jimmy Swaggart, Jim and Tammy Bakker, Peter Popov--were the subject of controversies involving, fraud, financial impropriety, and/or sex scandals. The founders and owners of TBN, the family of Paul Crouch Sr, were also plagued by accusations of financial and sexual improprieties. Nevertheless, TBN had become an empire, and the televangelists and Crouch all lived lavish lifestyles, financed by donations from pious viewers. The network's flagship TV show was PTL, standing for "Praise the Lord"--it soon acquired the alternate nickname "Pass The Loot".
TBN purchased The Holy Land experience from Zion's Hope for a reported $37 million. The network planned to use the site as a TV studio and as a set for making Christian films. But it also had plans to expand the theme park. After first cutting the park's expenses by firing some 100 of the staff, TBN sunk another $38 million into expansions, adding restaurants, a children's play area, a recreated Temple of Jerusalem, a Roman amphitheater, and various prayer gardens. A 90-minute "Passion Play" depicting the crucifixion of Christ took place every afternoon. Since then, other things have been added, including recreations of the Golgotha crucifixion site, Jesus' tomb, the Garden of Gethsemane, and the Bethlehem birthplace of Jesus.
Since I consider organized religions to be some of the most brutally oppressive institutions ever formed by man, I went into The Holy Land Experience expecting mostly laughter and also some anger. Instead, what I found was mostly pathos.
It's hard to tell whether TBN is really trying to "bring the message of Christ" to "the unbelievers", or is just trying yet again to pry more money from its faithful. Although it costs fifty bucks to get in (the same price as Sea World), the park is obviously done on the cheap. The buildings and "sets" are plaster, the same three or four statues, endlessly repeated, seem to be found throughout the park. Everything is coated with gaudy gold paint, sequins and costume jewelry. Apparently in previous years there used to be costumed "cast members" wandering around interacting with the guests--today they are gone, and the only employees I saw were at the ticket gate and in the food courts. Perhaps there was another budget-cutting layoff. The employees all have name tags bearing Biblical names like "Ruth", "Naomi", and "Joseph". One of the accusations made against the park is that TBN ordains all its employees as ministers, so it does not legally have to pay Social Security taxes for them. When I asked an employee if she was an ordained minister, she replied that she was a "minister for the Lord"; when I pressed her a bit by asking if that meant she was legally ordained, she changed the subject and moved on, leaving me with the impression that it's still a sore spot for TBN. (By the way, if you plan on engaging with the staff, be careful what you say--there are signs everywhere reminding you that the entire park is under video surveillance. Perhaps TBN is still a little nervous from the Bill Maher thingie, or perhaps they are afraid some overzealous pilgrim will steal their plaster statues or costume jewelry.)
There are constant stage shows and pageants all day long, culminating in the big Passion Play every afternoon. Like the rest of the place, it seems done on the cheap. The "period garb" looks like an "Arab terrorist" Halloween costume from Amazon. The acting is like the non-sex parts of a porno flick. In all, it looked like a high school drama department production.
No matter who you are, there's something here for you to not like. Atheists will probably just giggle their way through the whole thing. Catholics will likely be offended by the Scriptorium, which is a one-hour show explaining how the Catholic Church kept the Bible away from everyone, you evil-doers you. Fundamentalist Bible-thumpers will likely object to the fact that the park does not openly preach their Kent Hovind theology--there is no Jesus on a dinosaur here. Liberal Christians will probably be horrified by the crass commercialization of Christianity and the theme park atmosphere. Jews will likely see themselves as simply a target for conversion (and they would be correct), though TBN goes to great lengths to demonstrate how much they love Israel and Jews. (Too bad, though, that in the End Days y'all will be judged by God as infidels.) Muslims will likely be followed around by some goober with a concealed-carry permit. And people with an interest in ancient history will not find it here: most of the "historical" displays are just Bible stories, and the very few attempts at actual history are usually wrong.
Despite the fact that I was there three days before Christmas, the park was not crowded, and the pageant shows had maybe 400 people watching. Apparently, despite TBN's money, nobody still wants to go to a church Bible-study on their vacation.
There were two moments that particularly provoked my pity and pathos. One was in the "Healing Garden", where a middle-aged woman was kneeling tearfully in front of a gaudy statue of Jesus, apparently praying fervently to be healed from something or other. The other was another middle-aged woman who was running her hands over a "Rock from Golgotha" on display, with tears running down her cheeks. (The rock was of course a fake, since nobody even knows where the actual spot of Golgotha was.) Here were two people who so desperately wanted to believe, so fervently, that they were treating all of this stuff as if it were the real thing--as if they were really there in the Holy Land, touching the actual spot where Jesus died, instead of being in a cheaply-made overpriced tourist trap in Orlando FL. It was sad to see.
The entire time I was in the park, I had this song running through my head:
So here are some photos from my day at "Walt Jesus World". (Sorry there are no pics of the Scriptorium or any of the pageant shows--TBN jealously guards its copyright and does not allow any video or photography in those areas, though of course you are welcome to buy videos in the gift shop.)