Image Source
As a gay man I am all too familiar with the price that LGBT youth pay when they are bullied or outed against their will.
The image above is of Jadin Bell who attempted suicide in January, 2013 after being victimized by bullying at school. He died on February 3rd.
Joe Bell (Jadin’s father) started a non-profit anti-bullying foundation Faces for Change.
Though this happened over 2 years ago it does help to illustrate the problem of bullying.
Although acceptance of LGBT people is getting better as time progresses, bullying is still quite pervasive, particularly among our LGBT youth.
Most of us recognize the dangers of bullying in school and the toll that it takes on its victims and we expect the school to do everything possible to put a stop to it and take aggressive action to counter the bullying. Sadly though, many schools look the other way and the more the bullies are allowed to get away with victimizing others, the more bullying they will engage in.
Lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth were significantly more likely to attempt suicide in the previous 12 months, compared with heterosexuals (21.5% vs 4.2%). Among lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth, the risk of attempting suicide was 20% greater in unsupportive environments compared to supportive environments.
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Although there are typically multiple contributing factors leading to suicide attempts, anti-gay bullying is one of the primary contributing factors, particularly when school officials do little or nothing to stop it. And when bullying is combined with lack of support from parents and family it becomes exponentially worse.
School officials and other adults in positions of authority over youth simply must do more to stop this endless cycle of bullying.
Follow below the fold for a discussion on the topic of outing
Outing someone who is LGBT is wrong and can be very dangerous.
Many LGBT youth often face lack of support from their parents and many parents have completely disowned their child and yes, even kicked them out of the home and all because their child was outed against their will.
The process of coming out is a very personal thing and no one except the person him/herself has the right to out themselves. This is even truer for LGBT youth who are more prone to bullying in school and are often fearful of negative repercussions from parents, family, church officials, etc.
Often times the timing of coming out, when to come out and even where to come out can make all the difference in the world in how parents and others will react to the news. LGBT youth are often struggling with their own sexuality, they are young and not fully matured and they are reliant on others for support and a roof over their heads. They need the love and unconditional support of their family, especially parents, and are often fearful of losing that love and unconditional support if they reveal they are gay. The fear of rejection is a very strong force for LGBT youth.
Some quotes from the APA about coming out
Many people hesitate to come out because of the risks of meeting prejudice and discrimination.
Some choose to keep their identity a secret; some choose to come out in limited circumstances; some decide to come out in very public ways.
Coming out is a very personal decision that LGBT people deal with and once they make the decision to come out, the method, timing and environment in which they do so is theirs and theirs alone to make.
Recently there was a diary about an LGBT teen that was chosen as Valedictorian and his speech was canceled by the principal because it included an admission that he is gay. Not only did the principal cancel his speech but also outed this teen to his parents.
Some comments on the diary indicated that it was OK for the principal to out him because he included that admission in his own public speech and therefore outed himself. But it was still wrong for the principal to do this, it was not his choice to make.
As stated by the APA themselves some choose to come out in public ways and they have their reasons for doing this, perhaps because they have reason to believe that method has the best chance of being accepted in a positive manner, perhaps for other reasons. No one has the right to take that away and being a minor is not a valid reason for outing someone; in fact it is usually far more risky to out a minor than it would be for an adult.
And this is not to mention the fact that this teen might have been planning on coming out to his parents ahead of the public speech. Either way it was his choice and his choice alone to decide how and when to come out.
Some other quotes from the same source.
The risks and benefits of coming out are different for youths in different circumstances.
Some young people live in families where support for their sexual orientation is clear and stable; these youths may encounter less risk in coming out, even at a young age.
Young people who live in less supportive families may face more risks in coming out.
All young people who come out may experience bias, discrimination, or even violence in their schools, social groups, work places, and faith communities.
Supportive families, friends, and schools are important buffers against the negative impacts of these experiences.
End quotes from APA.
Everyone has different circumstances and the timing and method and location which is the best choice for one person may be the absolute worst choice for someone else. Coming out is an incredibly personal choice which LGBT youth have a right to make and no one should take that from them.
As school officials and other adults in positions of authority over our youth it is even worse to out LGBT youth than if some stranger happened to find out and outed them. We have a right to expect better from school officials and other adults in positions of authority.
The only valid reason to ever out someone without their permission is if they have expressed a desire to hurt themselves or others or if there is clear reason to believe that they are likely to do so.
When it comes to homeless youth:
As many as 40 percent of homeless youth identify as LGBT, and a new Williams Institute study of youth shelters confirms this estimate.
A closing message to LGBT youth
If you suffer from anti-gay bullying or rejection from parents or family or for any other reason have or are contemplating suicide, please, please do NOT attempt to take your own life. Reach out for help. Help and support is only a phone call away.
Suicide Prevention Help:
http://www.itgetsbetter.org/...
The above link lists several organizations with toll free numbers which you can call for help and support. And if anyone knows at risk LGBT youth, please pass this link on.