Donald Trump is a character written by conservative douche-nozzle and brilliant playwright David Mamet. Once you detach enough from reality to accept this overlapping of politics and theatrics, he begins to make much more sense. Read my take on this below the squiggly line the color of Mr. Trump's flesh.
Dear Donald,
I’ve done a first pass at your speech for this Wednesday. Naturally, you’ll make your own adjustments and then feel free to improvise, of course, once the mic is hot. Still, I think this is a good jumping off point and I think I’ve properly captured your voice. I did keep it TV clean for you.
Let me know if there’s more you want from me on this one.
David Mamet
Hi. How are you? This is terrific, this turn out. This – I have to tell you, the crowds have been terrific, here and in –
When I did the one last week in, I don’t know, it was huge. Just, they had to put it in a bigger, ‘cause so many people. So many people. Very gratifying. And I think that, right there is proof that I’m resonating, my campaign is. You know, I think the press – and I love the press. I love the press, the media, the television people and everyone, some of them do a very good, but when they keep on with the same questions over and over again. “Policy,” they want and “specifics,” but I’m not, when you look at my history, it’s getting things done. I think that’s what you want, what everyone –
And look. This election is not about down in the weeds over what did someone say to someone five years ago or who’s a fat pig or ugly or whatever, but if I have thoughts – I’m not one of these spit and polish PC types of guys who you – or gals. Or gals. Wouldn’t want to be sexist. I love women. I respect women so any nonsense about that is just –
Hey, this election is about ideas. And that’s what I’m here to share with you. I have ideas about, for example if you look at Mexico. They’re killing us. And I’m not just talking about the immigrants. I know I took a lot of heat for saying some things and that’s fine. I know. A lot of people get very uncomfortable when you start to talk about a group of people who are, a lot of them criminals and it starts to sound like a generalization, but I think anyone who wasn’t trying to twist – you know a lot of people don’t want, they don’t just not want me to be president, they don’t want me to be running for president so they can twist and make it seem like I said something that was bigoted against the Mexicans or the Mexican people or the people of Mexico or whatever they like to be called nowadays. But I love Mexico. I love the people down there. But they’re killing us with their business and their economics and their drugs coming across and all of it. Just all of it. And I know some of them are fine people, the woman who does my house is just – she’s fantastic! Not all of them are lazy and they love me. And I love them. So don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it. ‘cause I can sit down and talk . . .
This is the thing that matters. I can sit down anywhere in the world – I’ve flown all over the country – all over the world. China. Iran. Wherever. I can sit down with anyone and just talk to them like they’re all just normal people, just like you and me. Different nations, skin color, whatever. I don’t – and languages. You think Obama doesn’t use a translator when he has to? Sure. I’ve been in those meetings myself where I have to – some guy, you say a thing and then he says it, you like to think he says the same thing in some – whatever – Abu Dabese or whatever and then the guy over there with the beard and the thing on his head, he says something and the guy does it back to me in English and you get stuff done.
You see, it’s not just all about who knows what or doing deals with congress and the senate. You have to know – look, I’ve talked to them too. The guys in Washington in the suits and the ones, the other ones in, you know the robes, the Supreme Court, too. You talk to ‘em and they’re just people. You grease the right palms, you make it clear what you will and you won’t. Things get done.
So, I’m going to keep this brief tonight, ‘cause I know you’re all eager to get on to the Q&A and I promised I’d do some of that. So Lucy is going to come around – she’s the one with the great legs, by the way, fantastic legs on that girl. Great little worker, too. Korean, I think. Something like that. She’ll have the microphone and she’ll be coming around to let you ask me some of the questions that I’ll, you know, talk about some things and try to give you a bit more – look, I don’t promise every answer will be what you want to hear. I’m not that guy. I’m not that guy. But I’ll try to tell you a little about how the country is going to work when I’m president because I think, and I think you think, so together – you know, it’s not a thing I can do alone. I’m going to make this country great again. Okay. Lucy. Why don’t you get this thing rolling?