As Virginia angles to become the first state in the nation to direct teachers K-12 teachers to inform parents if they're teaching "sexually explicit content," Blue Virginia has a satirical look at just how that might play out at schools across Virginia.
Dear Parent(s),
Pursuant to Code of Virginia section 22.1-16.6 and the Board of Education’s resultant policy, this letter is to notify you that your child’s teachers have a reasonable expectation to use instructional materials which contain sexually explicit content. Upon your request, the school will furnish the materials for your review, but please be aware that the materials are sexually explicit in content. [...]
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The Outsiders, by S. E. Hinton. One character makes sexual advances at another; allusions to teenage pregnancy.
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Prentice Hall Science Explorer: Life Science. Chapters 8 and 9 (Introduction to Plants; Seed Plants) contain repeated references to sexual reproduction in plants, including detailed diagrams of plants’ sexual organs.
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Prentice Hall Science Explorer: Life Science. Chapters 12 and 13 (Fishes, Amphibians, and Reptiles; Birds and Mammals) contain repeated references to sexual reproduction in animals, including “fertilization,” “egg,” and “sperm.”
Oh, man, that plant reproduction stuff—we all remember that, don't we? Just got the wheels a-turnin'.
Honestly, these lawmakers may as well stick their heads in the sand indefinitely. If they get wind of this thing called "the Internet," it's just going to blow their minds. But sure, fixate on those books—that's where all the real action is.