Ex-Fox News head Roger Ailes may have been booted from his powerful position at America's least newsy news network, freeing him to spend a well-financed retirement being a pervert in places other than his office, but he still has friends in bigly places. Many of the menfolk at Fox News say he's been a perfect gentleman all these years, which may itself be indicative of something, and now Ailes has the bigliest character witness of them all: Donald Trump.
Well, I don't want to comment.
This is a lie, of course. There has not been a subject invented that Donald J. Trump has not wanted to comment on.
But he's been a friend of mine for a long time, and I can tell you that some of the women that are complaining, I know how much he's helped them. And even recently, and when they write books that are fairly recently released, and they say wonderful things about him.
Which, if you suffered through last week's convention coverage with the rest of us, you will recognize as a central theme of the Trump Convention. Women currently employed by Donald J. Trump and who currently have checks from him waiting to clear have nothing but wonderful things to say about him, and if there's a better character test of a person Donald Trump doesn't know what it might be.
And now all of a sudden they're saying these horrible things about him. It's very sad. Because he's a very good person. I've always found him to be just a very, very good person. And by the way, a very, very talented person. Look what he's done. So I feel very badly. But a lot of people are thinking he's going to run my campaign.
Donald J. Trump then observed that his campaign is already doing pretty well, and left it at that. The Trump campaign is already full to the brim with terrible people caught doing terrible things, but perhaps Ailes can add his name to the waiting list.
Did we mention that Fox News kingpin Roger Ailes has been canned? We should probably mention that again. Canned, canned, canned. Canned like a tuna, he is. Canned like a too-large serving of baked beans. Canned like last week's tomatoes. We may keep mentioning that from time to time, readers, just to make sure latecomers have heard the news.