Once again, last night set the stage for a familiar dance between Elizabeth Warren and Donald Trump: She annihilated any notion that he's done an honest day's work in his life, and he responded via Twitter. It's not the first round we've seen from these two prizefighters, and it got us thinking about what they come by naturally in the way of advantages. More specifically, what do their thumbs say about their genetic gifts, their lot in life, and what they can bring to the American people?
Donnie, we have to say, has proven himself an avid tweeter—and who wouldn't be with those stubby little thumbs, amiright?! It's a genetic advantage, hands down! When the going gets tough and Trump's rifling through his many complex thoughts, once he hits on something brillz—he can pounce!
Booyah! What a gift, those crooked little thumbs! Damn him.
Warren on the other hand, appears to have a rather straight, upright thumb. That thing is sturdy as all get out and perhaps not all that suited to Twitter dominance (sorry senator, but we had to call a spade a spade). But it does look like the steadfast thumb of a champion: strong, determined, not prone to veering off course. It's like the North Star of thumbs—follow it and it will guide you home!
No, we're not geneticists. But sometimes it's just impossible to ignore what's right before your very eyes. So take your pick America: the North Star of thumbs, or the crooked little tweeter?