The popularity of Ken Bone is a tragedy & the internet's celebration of him is so psychologically sad. Though, I did think his question, and his jolly appearance were refreshing, I also felt sad the moment I saw him, and still do. I didn’t know his deal would take off quite the way it did.
Ken Bone will certainly have a cameo in the piece I began researching a year ago, which involved delving into reading fun psychology research reviews involving tests with rats. We're the rats. He's a rat. We're all rats! But, that fun is for post-election.
For now, I want to chop out the basics of my Ken Bone Blues:
Many of my liberal, or Democrat & Hillary voting friends, have been tweeting about this man, since we made him. They are celebrating him, delighted. They are writers and comedians — and I get it — it is nice to have fresh material. ANYTHING that isn’t, on the surface, so horrifying.
Ken Bone, meanwhile, after having front row to that horror show of a debate, is still on TV saying that he is more undecided than ever. He was in the same room, watching Trump lie and stalk Hillary around the stage, and still thinks - maybe that's the president for him.
Ken Bone says that while he can see how Trump may reverse some of the rights we have fought for as a country, his economic plan helps him more. Ken Bone, whose brother is dating a Woman of Color, and who tweeted congrats to cousins who came out on National Coming Out Day. So, yeah folks - it's a tough one.
Either Ken is continuing to play the undecided voter to be on TV — to get some exposure and make some money or do what he is thinking is helpful to publicly show the process of weighing your decision - OR he is genuinely weighing his decision. It's hard to read how crafty he is under that sweater. It seems he is totally intelligent and affable.
But wait — the character he is presenting, or his true self, don't seem to care whatsoever about the kind of man Trump is. He has seemingly not been thrown off course by Trump’s disordered, inappropriate & erratic behavior, or lack of experience. Ultimately, nothing Trump has said or done for over a year - or his life preceding that - has deterred Ken Bone from considering Trump for president. Keep the accusations rolling, keep the conspiracy theory world salads coming — they are not a big problem.
Ken also seems, in this scenario, to believe in Trump's economic plan. Personally, I don't believe any of Trump's "plans" are actually plans - but this suggests to me Ken Bone is rich enough to think Trump will protect him — to the point where it’s worth the risk, or clueless enough to believe Trump will protect him, no matter his income (despite the fact that there is no indication Trump plans to help anyone who doesn't have sizable income). I’ve seen no sign in his communications, other than considering Trump, that he is that clueless.
Ken Bone is a large, upbeat man, with a lisp, who split his suit and had to wear a sweater to the debate, instead. And we didn’t have to hear the story about him splitting a suit to know he’d split a suit. Of course he has. Classic comic relief.
People are so sick of being informed, decided, and horrified that they long to experience the innocence of this "undecided" character. OH, to just be a man-meme that doesn't have to wake up and be full of decisive fear and anger!
But wait(again) — this is a guy who is going on TV saying he might vote for Trump because of his money — and when this cuddly guy says it, it makes it seem as if there is something honest and legitimate to that. And a bunch of lefty people who have been screaming about the evil of money, are tweeting about how cute he is.
What a sad state that we're in, that this guy is being celebrated online and gushed over by talk show hosts like Trevor Noah, asked on news shows, to appear via Skype on @midnight, on a Reddit AMA, put on T-shirts, and commemorated via Halloween costumes. Do I want my Halloween costume to be a guy who was going on TV saying he might vote for Trump? Hell, if I do that, I’m gonna be Ted Cruz as the Zodiac Killer.
Just ask yourself: are we seriously going nuts over The Undecided Voter? When one of the candidates is Trump? I mean — GROSS! I am a ‘no’ on this. Someone should tell Ken Bone to get real, and get his fucking act together. If it’s an act — it should be over — this is TOOOOOOO DAMN LATE to know not to vote for Donald Trump.
Ken Bone, lover of Radiohead (I mean — come on), I sure as hell you will soon present the next act of your weird performance art, self-branding, t-shirt marketing, voting play, where you teach everyone that the greater good is more important & gosh you checked out their tax plans & Hillary's is more fair for everyone in America.
But you better do it quick, Ken. Some memes die pretty fast. Soon, people may have stopped listening to you - and yet, you will have already done work to humanize Trump. People’s attention works like that. It kinda has to do with those rats I promised not to get into right now.
Anyhow - if you don't pull through, you are dead to me, Ken Bone. For now you're just pre-dead. We're all pre-dead. And we're all rats — I mean… not really. But, we are all pre-dead.
But we’re also alive, Ken. And you could be alive, and not a guy who is maybe-voting for a serial sexual predator. Wouldn’t that be nice?
Here's to the greater good!
Oh wait… that’s not how ‘the blues’ end. I got the Ken Bone Bluuuueeesss.