It is hard to keep up with sheer number of conspiracy theories spawned every time Donald Trump or his supporters open their mouths. Does Hillary Clinton have syphilis because of her husband’s infidelities? Does she have Parkinson’s or Alzheimers disease? If she has all of these maladies how does she keep up with the faux murder/suicides she requires in her mission to turn the United States into a New World Order alien embryo farm? I don’t know but there are people in my Facebook feed telling me they do! Full Frontal with Samantha Bee took on the challenge and decided to take Donald Trump’s discomfort around reading during a deposition he taped in June of this year.
A few weeks ago I sat down with a cup of chamomile tea and an assortment of cyanide tablets and I watched all 99 minutes of Donald Trump's deposition on one of the many lawsuits filed against him and as I watched, I noticed a pattern.
During the deposition Trump seems to squirm quite a bit at suggestions he might have to read things both to himself and out loud during the deposition.
How can you expect someone who isn't a fancy-pants lawyer to read words? Now at first I thought Trump was lying but then it hit me thanks to the time I've wasted watching very special episodes of TV shows over the years, I could draw only one conclusion.
Full Frontal then shows a montage of old sitcom clips with characters are hiding their illiteracy, ending in a clip of young Jared Leto as the troubled (but wicked hot) Jordan Catalano on My So Called Life. The special episode where Angela Chase (Claire Danes) realizes that Jordan can’t read.
Oh my god, Trump is just like Jared Leto. Well, maybe more like the current version of Jared Leto. You heard it here first, people are saying Donald Trump can't read. Specifically, people on my research staff now before you accuse us of being a silly late-night comedy show making cheap jokes about a presidential candidate allegedly being illiterate, which we definitely are, we have evidence. So much evidence, the best evidence.
Bee and crew proceed to make the case that Donald Trump is functionally illiterate, with a never-ending sample of interviews he has done, and statements made by others who have met him or interviewed him.
I know what you're thinking,
that's crazy, Trump can't be illiterate, the man must have signed his name on countless contracts, bankruptcy filings, prenups and mail-order bride forms over the years and does this look like the signature of a man who can't read? but think about it when Trump is on the campaign trail what's his biggest enemy I mean, besides knowledge, integrity, and basic human decency?
This is followed by clips of Trump talking about how he doesn’t use teleprompters. This is Bee at her best. She even throws in little joke bombs like this one.
I wonder what else Donald Trump has misread?
This is fun.