There have been a couple of diaries (by people I respect) and several comments (again, from people I respect) questioning, wondering why we haven't moved on from our grieving the Election night results. I was thinking about that while lying in bed last night and I wanted to break it down because I'm one of those people who is still grieving. I understand that we need to fight. I get that we need to start coalescing and figure out how to deal with what happened... but I'm still grieving and based on commentary I've read, I'm not alone. So for those among us who have moved on (and good for you, really, GOOD FOR YOU! I wish I could), here are some reasons I figure that not everyone is there yet and the grieving process is not over.
1. As slim a shot as it is, there is still the Hail Mary of the Electoral College vote on December 19th. Will anything come of it? Almost certainly, positively, absolutely not. I'm fairly certain that most people who are waiting on that date understand this. The odds are most definitely NOT in our favor, like at all. Speaking for myself: I get this; I really, really do. However until that last small, quivering flicker of hope is extinguished, I can't let go of it... no matter how small because...
2. This wasn't just any kind of loss. The most experienced and qualified candidate lost the Electoral vote to an admitted sexual predator who is also openly racist, misogynistic, xenophobic, thin-skinned and an obvious danger to the future of not only this country, but the planet itself. And the really scary part is that the last part of the previous sentence is NOT hyperbole. Even if Hillary Clinton won the popular vote by 3-4 million votes, enough people STILL voted to put that horrible, horrible man into arguably (and not by much) the single, most important job on this Earth. He has the power to destroy everything we hold dear. EVERYTHING. Literally. This is not a regular loss. This is not about Democrats vs. Republicans. This is about Decent Human Beings vs. Dangerous Assholes. And the latter won out. This isn't about another white male politician against another white male politician; it's about the first female candidate vs. a misogynistic white male. And the latter won out.
3. Oh, and that... So much pointed to the United States FINALLY having a female President, and one who was ridiculously qualified for the position. We were going to join so much of the rest of the world by giving an actual GIRL! the highest political job in the country. Talk about PROGRESSIVENESS! Instead, it not only went to ANOTHER freaking white male... it went to a ridiculously unqualified, openly sexist, racist, xenophobic, fear-mongering, childish, lying, freaking white male. The misogyny of that BURNS SO HARD. The majority of this country would rather have that MONSTER in the Oval Office than a girl!
4. I'm putting myself in the shoes of the Bernie Sanders' supporters who did rally behind Hillary after she won the nomination. I could be wrong because I never was a Bernie supporter, but I was thinking that for them it must be beyond frustrating. They truly believed in Bernie. They truly believed that he was the change this country needed, and that had he been nominated the Democratic candidate would be the President-Elect. So, yes, a whole bunch of freshly-parsed vitriol against Hillary and all she did wrong* is coming out now from some in the Bernie camp, but for the first time I get it. They didn't want a Republican—especially that particular individual—to win. They believed that Bernie would beat him. But now... not only did Bernie not even get a chance to run against that monster and prove just what he could do, but Hillary (the one who was supposed to be able to get the job done) failed. She did not win the Election. That is a bitter pill to swallow. Putting aside your favored candidate in so many ways for someone that was felt to be lesser in so many ways for the good of the country, to keep HIM out of the White House... and it was all for nothing. Popular votes, schmopular votes, she's not the President-Elect... but damnit, maybe Bernie could have done it.
*Not that I understand this part or feel that ANYTHING of the sort is justified. I’m just saying that I understand why some Bernie supporters are frustrated and this may be why some of them are still grieving.
5. The inability to fully accept the horror of what happened, of what is happening, of what is going to happen. It's practically surreal. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! There have been so many post-Election articles, diaries, comments from everywhere you look giving this reason or that one or a combination of reasons, or.... you get the picture. There is no consensus of how this happened, of how the citizens of the United States *could* have allowed to this happen. How the majority in the Electoral College votes could have possibly led to THIS! How? How? For the love of everything decent... HOW?! Because the answer that it basically boils down is that enough voting-citizens (who had their votes counted) CHOSE to vote for an openly racist, sexist, xenophobic, inexperienced, and unqualified lying, lying, lying ASSHOLE to lead this country. And that is mind-boggling. We knew there were people out there who felt as him, but that so many (as in any) women, African-Americans, Latinos, Asians, the destitute VOTED for him is terrifying. This is the country we live in. We are getting to a better place... but we are still so, so far away.
6. That there was so many shady goings-on (the Russians, Putin, the hacking, Comey, the messed-up voting machines) that helped enable this disaster doesn't help. Yet, at the same time, it helps because every time something pops up that gives just a burst of hope (no matter how small) that a smoking gun might be found... it keeps people still holding on. Maybe, just maybe, there will be an escape from this nightmare. Yet, reality intrudes all too soon and the infinestimal chance that it will happen leads to another wave of depression.
7. That this happened creates a sense of futility. The Republicans have stacked so much against Democrats to win elections and so many Democrats help Republicans get the power to keep doing this by not voting in non-Presidential years. And the Democratic members of Congress? Too few of them don’t, won't, can't fight back, obstruct, and make things as fucking difficult for the Republicans as they do to us. It's BEYOND FRUSTRATING and people get to a point where it feels like if those who are supposed to represent us WON'T FUCKING DO IT, then why bother? The other side is always going to win because they may hate their candidates, but by golly, they are going to stand united behind them.
So yeah, those are just the reasons I thought of why I think many, some, a few (just me?) are still in a state of grief. This wasn't a regular election; the fall-out is not going to be regular. And the grieving process, I think, is still in the beginning stages. What happened is so beyond unthinkable that it's hard to wrap minds and hearts around it. We'll still fight; we are still here, we are trying to do what needs to be done... but if we're still grieving, there are reasons.
Or maybe it’s just me. I’m not doing particularly well right now. Unemployed, broken foot, morale pretty low (see this post: Life sucks and then you die. I'm just waiting now ). I’m doing a bit better thanks to support from this community (see the follow-up post: My life is worth something; thank you for helping me remember that!), but it’s still really hard. When I lost my job in October, I was scared, but not freaking out because I’d be OK overall since, after all, Hillary would be following Obama into the White House. And then came November 8 and the freaking out began.
I don’t know what’s going to happen if I don’t get a job soon. I don’t know what my future holds and with the current President-Elect proving so many of our fears true already—even before the new year—well, I’m terrified. I’m pretty much all alone and I don’t know what is going to happen to me. So, yes, I’m still grieving not just for Hillary, not just as a Hillary supporter, not just as a Democrat, not just for this country, not just for this planet, but for myself and for what is to come because I have no safety net for what potential horrors may happen in the next four to eight years.
So… allow me my grief and please don’t chastise me for still feeling that way even now. It doesn’t mean I’m not fighting and hoping to help the Democrats now and for a 2018 and 2020 turn-around. But it’s still 2016 and the next two years are frightening. I’m not ready to stop mourning what could (and should) have been.
Friday, Dec 9, 2016 · 3:29:57 AM +00:00
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arabian
I honestly didn't expect so many responses (none of my other non-Hillary Hangout threads have ever gotten close to this). I tried to go through and respond to most comments, but going back to re-read, there are a bunch more. I won't get to them tonight, but I will do my best tomorrow.
One thing the response to this diary proves is that, even in our grief, we are stronger together.