Dear Republicans,
Call a lawyer and make sure he’s good, because I’m suing for divorce, and I plan to take you for every penny. For starters, I’m citing irreconcilable differences- my government needs to be of, by, and for the People, and you believe that Corporations are people. They’re not.
You talk a good game about where you want to take me, but we never go there. You re more than happy to follow AAA’s Triptick when it says, “turn right,” but when it says, “go left,” you accuse it of a liberal agenda. If all we do is turn right, we are going in circles.
We spend way too much time fighting over money. You like to control our spending and feel threatened when I work. However, you are arbitrary deciding what you care about, you never give me enough money to do what I need to do, you complain that I am doing too much and complain when I don’t do something you decide to care about.
The house is falling apart, and it leaks when it rains, but when I want to call a roofer, you complain that we’re broke. Then, you run off to the gun store and spend the very money you say we don’t have on a bunch of toys that even the kids say we don’t need.
Speaking of the kids, you play favorites. You shower your love on some and ignore the others. You tell the ones you love that the others aren’t really yours, and you blame them for their unruliness when they are just starved for attention.
Worst of all, you hurt me. Again and again and again. You blame others for it, and you run back telling me you “Love” me all the time. Then you come back and do the very same things. I am not going to put up with this abuse any longer. I have been an enabler- No more.
And finally, I have warned you about your drinking. You get angry when you drink, which in your case is redundant. So here you are waking up with a cloudy head (which is actually smog), and when your eyes clear, the face staring back is Donald Trump.
Signed,
America