The political world is a-flutter with speculation: Just who will debase themselves to be Republican Donald Trump's vice presidential pick? Will it be Gov. Bridgegate von Burgerfetcher?
Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey offered a glimpse Monday of just what he might bring to the Republican ticket as Donald J. Trump’s running mate, presenting himself as a law and order executive in an appearance with Mr. Trump in Virginia Beach.
Pay no attention to the many, many scandals that have plagued the brief periods of time Chris Christie has deigned to set foot in his state; he's still the law'n'order candidate because he says so.
But Trump could also choose Indiana Gov. Mike Pence. Of all the potential choices, Pence would be the most boring by far, which makes him an unlikely sidekick for the scenery-chewing Trump. On the other hand he's a solid social conservative, as proven by his willingness to disembowel his state over an anti-LGBT "religious freedom" law.
A firestorm around a 2015 law known as the Religious Freedom Restoration Act placed the state center stage in the culture wars, leading to intense backlash from the business community. The Indiana Chamber of Commerce called the law “a tremendous hit” to Indiana’s “national identity as a welcoming and hospitable state,” and Pence delivered a memorably bad performance on ABC’s “This Week,” in which he declined to answer whether or not it should be legal to discriminate against gays and lesbians.
While his disaster-on-television status should boost his Trump credentials considerably, however, Trump is not likely to chose someone who is giving him an ultimatum, because Trump doesn't tolerate prima donnas not named Donald Trump:
So that'd be a no, then.
That leaves our remaining high-profile contender, everybody's favorite disgraced Republican also-ran Newt Gingrich. Gingrich and Fox News have just broken off Newt's contributor agreement, which is historically the signal that one of their talking heads is about to head off again to run for something. Newt Gingrich has a singular qualification for the job that nearly all other Republicans lack: He is one of the few members of the party who has nothing more to lose by appearing onstage with Donald Freaking Trump. Nobody will possibly take him any less seriously than they already do.
Newt also is a good ideological fit for Trump. For example, Newt Gingrich would like America to build bases on the moon. Donald Trump would like to own the moon. The new party platform would practically write itself.
So who will the nominee be? Rumor has it that we'll know by the end of the week—which means, given Trump's past scheduling promises, we might know sometime in October.