So, I made a rap song about climate change. I’m sharing it per suggestion of my roommate who got a kick out of it. In the song and video, I encourage listeners to call their climate-denying representatives (several phone numbers included) as I simultaneously throw childish insults at said representatives. Climatologists and ecologists I suspect would approve of the science alluded to in the first few verses. I hope you all like 2 Live Crew! Here are the lyrics:
check it out y’all this is gettin ridiculous
Professor Funk here I speak the truth you witness it
we gotta to get to work lickety split or bust
so now I shoot the gift like my name st. Nicholas
see a lot of cats who be causin a fuss
they don’t know their fahrenheit from celsius
wouldn’t know inertia if ya hit em with a bus
about as scientific as some Quidditch scrimmages
they fooled a lot of people about it thus far
they got numbers, figures, graphs, and charts
a study peer-reviewed by the fellas at the bar
they say it’s a hoax well tell it to Myanmar
tell it to the Yukon Chinook Salmon
tell the polar bears they’re just being dramatic
get the uff back when Pfunk is rappin
your argument’s BUNK mine hold water like a cactus
ladies and gents stand back and observe
I’m about to drop science like you’ve never heard
ya won’t lose your vision but it might get blurred
but don’t worry fam imma get ya learned
Exhibit A: CO2 more high than
Flava Flav (on a holiday)
350 parts per million’s okay
but we over 400 yo that’s cray
we ain’t seen that since the Stone Age
wait not even when Pangea was a thang
makes ya wanna take a trip far far away
you and your kids in spacesuits sippin Tang
CO2 goes into the ocean
PH goes down and dats no fun
jellyfish population explosion
look at dat dat’s gross man
methane leaking under melting permafrost
you can even light it up just like a molotov
but most methane came from livestock
they poop, burp, fart, yea they do it a lot
the Maldives and them never had it so rough
coral reef more bleached than some porno butt
coastal people fisheries affected sure enough
but corporate industry stay gettin robust
increase drought, increase flood
bigger storms, ask Sandy and Katrina
animals are traveling to all new regions
the arctic and red fox are now competing
the Albedo effect - it’s a thing
water don’t reflect (absorbing)
Ferngully and Avatar on steroids basically
so what the heck else can any y’all say to me
(last verse contains “calling out” of reps)
Enjoy!