I decided awhile back that we’re in the universe where the time stream got altered. Somewhere, in the real universe, a very different picture is unfolding.
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The crowd stretches on for miles. On a platform surrounded by news cameras, a woman places her hand on the Bible…
HILLARY: I, Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton, do solemnly swear…
CHUCK TODD: The crowd doesn’t seem that enthusiastic. I think they’re still really concerned about her emails.
JAKE TAPPER: She hasn’t really reached out to Trump voters. I mean, sure, she apologized about a thousand times for saying “deplorables,” but is that really enough?
TUCKER CARLSON: And she seems to have cut all ties with her foundation, according to seventeen separate investigations, but what is she hiding?
CHRIS MATTHEWS: And now we see Jason Chaffetz running onto the podium to hand her a subpoena for the next 1000 hours of Benghazi hearings. Ha!
KELLYANNE CONWAY: Hello, I’m the new analyst for CNN. Republicans have just passed a law changing the name of the Affordable Care Act to the “Hillarycare Death Panel Act.”
VLADIMIR PUTIN: Hello, I am the new correspondent for Fox, here to explain why their new “everybody topless” policy is non-discriminatory.
Somewhere at home, watching her TV, Tara gets a strange premonition that this is the “best possible universe” outcome, and there’s another time stream where we’re caught in the evil version.
TARA: Dammit, when’s he coming back with the TARDIS to fix the other time stream?
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From Avilyn:
I'm nominating this comment by FarWestGirl for its simple brilliance.
Highlighted by TomP:
Is this snarky comment by Slamfu about a Scrotus and a former Potus.
From Chris Reeves:
This comment by
alx9090 is just too good. (Ed. note: Do NOT miss this one! If you never check out the submitted top comments, please look at this one!)
Highlighted by YankInUK:
Highlighted by OppositeLock:
Is this comment by mstep relieving Jason Chaffetz of the responsibility for investigating the Russia story, because of ‘the intelligence analysts who write for SNL.’ 😉 In Joan McCarter’s fine diary telling Chaffetz to do his job. (Don't hold your breath.)
Top Mojo ala mik!
For Tuesday, February 14, 2017, first comments and tip jars excluded. Thank you mik for the mojo magic! For those of you interested in How Top Mojo Works, please see his diary on the subject.
2017-02-15, courtesy of jotter!