(FuxNews) A spokesman for the Trump family announced today that from now on the Trump brand will be 100 percent American.
“In the past, most of the family’s brand name products were made overseas, usually in China, “ it was explained. “But, by this time, next year all of Ivanka Trump’s fashions. All of Donald Trump’s branded products, all of Melania Trump’s jewelry will be crafted with pride in the U.S.A. Put America first should be more than a slogan.”
Ivanka is, reportedly, scouting properties in Youngstown, Ohio, Flint Michigan, and several small communities in northern Kentucky.
“It was kind of a surprise going to those places," she was reported as saying. "I mean I was kind of surprised to find out they have the internet in Kentucky. I thought they all lived like the Amish out there, and wore bonnets.”
“Flint Michigan was kind of a downer,” she added. “All those houses falling down and all those people out of work. And then there’s the water. But there’s a great site for a boot factory there. I think I may have something.”
First Lady, Melania Trump, is reluctant to leave New York, except to go to Florida, but she has agents scouting properties in West Virginia. “I can have my jewelry designs made there. There are plenty of places where I can get property for next to nothing, and people willing to work for almost that. “
Meanwhile Donald Trump junior and his brother, Eric, are scouting land to build a luxury hotel on Michigan’s upper peninsula.
“We got a lot of support up there," Donald was reported as saying, “Since we hope to take away their health care, and make them pay more taxes. The least we can do is bring a few jobs to the region, even if most of them will be part time and minimum wage."
“These people voted for our dad,” Eric added. “We ought to give them something besides a lot of flag waving rallies.”
Perhaps the president himself put it best, when he said, "We've taken a lot from the American people, and we’re going to take a lot more. The least we can do is give a little back."
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