Because nothing says we are completely incompetent and out of touch with reality like sending out an email and creating a link on the White House’s official daily briefing page that completely blasts your most recent medieval budget plans. If you look at the bottom of this official White House daily briefing page, you will see a link to the Mulvaney-inspired lambasting that Alexandra Petri wrote up in her recent “Trump’s budget makes perfect sense and will fix America, and I will tell you why.”
Some people are complaining that the budget proffered by the Trump administration, despite its wonderful macho-sounding name, is too vague and makes all sorts of cuts to needed programs in favor of increasing military spending by leaps and bounds. These people are wimps. Office of Management and Budget Director Mick Mulvaney has called it a “hard power budget” which is, I think, the name of an exercise program where you eat only what you can catch, pump up your guns and then punch the impoverished in the face. This, conveniently, is also what the budget does.
This budget will make America a lean, mean fighting machine with bulging, rippling muscles and not an ounce of fat. America has been weak and soft for too long. BUT HOW WILL I SURVIVE ON THIS BUDGET? you may be wondering. I AM A HUMAN CHILD, NOT A COSTLY FIGHTER JET. You may not survive, but that is because you are SOFT and WEAK, something this budget is designed to eliminate.
Whoever thought this was a smart move didn’t even read the second paragraph of the article! Holy shitballs! The level of idiocy followed by the lack of any and all critical thinking lets you know that whoever was tasked with finding articles supporting Trump’s disastrous budget is definitely someone who voted for Trump. The rest of Petri’s piece is hilarious—and I mean that in the pure definition of hilarious as you’re laughing while going slightly mad because it’s so close to the bone.