Heil Dear Comrades, Salu. This is Veruska in the Red House with her weekly gossip column for the Glasnost Gazette. Herbert is by my side and I have plenty of pee pee pads. Last week I'm afraid he left poo under President Trump's portrait which is a no-no for a Republican. ( Herbert's breeder neglected to tell me Herbert was a Democrat).
Our spying is going very well even though that spy monger and terrorism specialist cutie Malcolm Nance, fellow Philly native, is saying Rico is in the air. Not to worry our master Savior Vladimir Putin has guaranteed his web has been woven over the Red House so tightly that not one of our Comrades will be indicted Oh, Carter Page, Paul Manafort, Roger Stone and certainly Comrade Flynn will be called before the firing line but already Master Trump has had Sean Spicer distance himself from Comrade Manafort etc. saying Manafort worked briefly for La Trump. When Manafort RAN the campaign to elect our Sweetie La Trumpster. Not to worry we have a tight tight hold on the govt which Comrade Nunes (republican for press but Red for us) proved this week by blocking the House's bogus investigation. No Hearing with FBI or NSA as had been scheduled cause as you know our magic red wand controls and protects we Comrades from being discovered by the Dems and those trying to expose our Rico actions as a conspiracy. Espionage is tricky, but our specialty. Oligarchs know how to do it. If we do have that Hearing it will be behind closed doors and Comrade Nunes will be able to cut deals to silence any Rico rumblings by running Red interference. As to that bogus health bill, La Donald never cared two pence about it nor did Pence or Ryan all the rest of our fair party. It was just a priority because it was mentioned as first priority during campaign to get votes and it worked. We just have to get to that tax bill to help us oligarchs.
Dems are trying to block Gorsuch who loves the corporations over those little people but the dems will lose. Gorsuch just looks too good to lose. No one listens to what he says because they are just busy watching his pretty boy image. All the better to create espionage with. So all the booing Comrade Lindsay Graham is getting in SC will fall on deaf Red ears.
Comrade Trump will meet with President Xi Jinping of China "To enhance understanding"... Whatever sounds good. But its all gobbilty gook in Mar a Lago.
What is important is that we let the health care bill collapse and do nothing about it so the Dems die on the cross. The hell with the little people, our motto.
Well, onto next week. Comrade Tillerson is putting on a good act and now has conceded to go to NATO conference though he has openly said how bored he is with his job as Sec. of State. Not enough of the overt sound of oil wells gushing in his Texas ears.
Meanwhile Comrade Bannon is staying out of the press and studying Star Wars films as his hero is Darth Vader or Satin. Oh BTW, watch Rachael Maddow if you want to laugh about how the press thinks they know what we are doing ... Have to sign off as I have a fitting for my gown for that Ball in the Crimea. Comrade Tillerson has promised to take me, but I told him I would only go with him is he gets invisaline for his lower teeth. Crooked teeth are a "no no" for successful espionage. Til next week, Comrades. Ta Ta. A bientot! Spy on!