Well. It is a long drawn out story here.
Just over 4 years ago, I had a heart attack. A hospital mess up ruined my leg, and put me on the death watch for a couple months until they sorted it out. I have since developed post thrombotic syndrome in that leg. It is a chronic pain thing, and it disables me from so much that I used to be able to do.
My husband, who used to be my rock, went into self destruct mode. He was doing things and seeing someone that a married man should not be doing or seeing. He moved out a couple years ago, we were all on speaking terms and he was seeing the girlies regularly. (our little ones, aged 10 and 12)
In September, he had a major mental break, and in just the last 7 and a half months he has been unable to work really. Not able to answer the phone even. His business is pretty much gone.
He is now going to take the rest of us down with him unfortunately. He defaulted on a business loan that they gave him just last year.
I had no idea this was going on to this extent until I let him move into the basement bedroom at the end of January. He was broke, unable to give me support for the kids, AND pay rent. I figured it would be ok until he got back on his feet a bit? There was another shoe to drop.
It got worse.
He has been under the care of a Psychiatrist, and on medications off and on. He stops after a short time though, and then slides back into the breakdown. He rarely sleeps. It is at night that the delusions start. Scary stuff to be accused of having people in the house all night, of running around to “drive him crazy”. I discovered he was coming into my room at night, disconcerting to the least. We lock our bedroom doors at night, and had to start putting up noisy booby traps when he started picking my lock. His focus is all on me.
My gurlies. They have seen their father slide away, they are scared of him now. My heart breaks for them. I have asked the local school for counselling for them, the school they go to is amazingly supportive and I feel such gratitude to them. My oldest daughter from my first marriage is 23. She needs to be with me, because she has learning disabilities. She is an indispensable part of our lives. She watches the girlies when I am at work, (so I CAN work) and picks them up from the schoolbus. She is fiercely protective of her little sisters and I would be lost without her. Such a kind and gentle soul.
But I have to get pretty busy.
So. My house: I found out last Tuesday the 18th purely by accident, that the house has been ordered to be sold starting on the 27th of April. That loan. Community Futures of the Sunshine Coast. They won a default judgement in court, and he never opened the envelope. The bailiff is quite gleeful on the phone. He loves his job obviously. My name on the title and the mortgage and the taxes did nothing for me as he owned the majority share in the house.
I was looking into selling my house just before all this happened. I was looking at trying to raise some cash so that I could do some minimal repairs and cleanup to at least get something from it. (I have not mentioned the piles of stuff he has left behind here in the yard, and in the basement. He just gave up a long time ago. )
But now, they are going to sell it from beneath us, and they will have a big fire sale me thinks. I will get none of the equity in it so that we actually have a place to go. This is a big thing. I am broke, and stressed and not able to make any decisions about anything with no money at all. I seem to have no options on financing this loan, i have been talking to LOTS of places.
My friends have helped me out with some court filings I have made. I am trying to raise some cash so that we can have somewhere to move if the court stuff fails. I am selling lots of items that he has left around here. Tools. ETC. I am unable to secure financing to pay out that loan. It is big. I have never missed a payment on this house, no matter how I have had to scramble.
My husband, is lying down for this. He refuses to help me. I think he is unable to grasp the enormity of what is coming. I have to tell you all here though: This is not the man I fell in love with. That man has been gone for a long time now, and I have trouble even remembering his face. It used to be kind, and he always looked at me with love. I still grieve for that.
Now, I am asking here for any help and or advice. (I am in Canada, but I know lots of fellow Canucks peruse these halls too) I haven’t been as active on Dkos as I used to be, life has been a roller coaster. I work three days a week on a bum leg, my job is keeping me sane. ish. My coworkers are incredible friends and supports.
In September, (when things were still not too bad financially) we got a new puppy. I am so afraid we will not be able to keep her. She is the light of all of our lives. It is killing me. Her name is Twofer, it is a derivation of 42 in danish. She is the answer to the universe and everything, the Douglas Adams fans will get it.
I started a go fund me. I have my paypal. paypal.me/palecold
Good thoughts are incredibly helpful TOO! I need them to just get up in the morning.
I have only had time in the last week to focus on so many details.
One of my girlies turned 12 last Wednesday, it was not the best birthday. But we had cake and lasagna. :) She got a Beta fish, and she is so proud of him. His name is Mars. He is a fighting fish!
Sending this into the universe now. I am hoping to just get through this for my girlies.
Oldest daughter wants people to send her dog and cat pictures in the comments. :) She loves to see them.
Update: So much love to all. :) Thanks for any help, and all of your emotional support. Adding this picture of the puppy. She really looks like she is using her Hands…..So talented! She can smile. :)