Baghdad, Iraq- Thousands of ISIS soldiers surrendered today, with more expecting to surrender in the following days, after being called “losers” by President Trump. ISIS leader Abu Babba al-Bubba issued a statement: “Being bombed we can take, being shot at and killed by drones is fine, but being called losers by such a prominent and important person as Donald Trump is too much to bear.” Abu Babba was seen wiping away tears of frustration after the humiliation.
After hearing the news President Trump replied via Twitter: “This is yuge. Bigly. And there are more losers I have my sights on.” Who these other losers are isn’t clear, but appears to include the entire Democratic party and the media. Democratic leaders were shy to comment to inquiries lest they invoke the wrath of President Trump and incur the moniker of “loser.”