WTF??? Is it possible that age and senility have finally caught up with me? That over 50 years as a commercial Maine fisherman have addled my brain? C’mon now, purity...and innocence...Trump???
Wait...don’t hang up, there is an explanation. The Donald was once a newborn baby! Fresh from the womb, free from the adulteration and taint that would gradually twist and pervert him into the parody of sentience he has become. Or...maybe not so much.
The year was 1946...Satan had been gorging himself on the sins of World War II. He had slaked his great thirst on the blood and tears of both the guilty and innocent. As he slithered back to his throne, his vile gut was bloated and swollen from his glutinous orgy of suffering and death. Slowly the swelling lessened as he digested his greatest meal, concentrating those sins into a golden sliver of evil incarnate. He sneered up toward heaven from deep in the abyss as he roared “ Hey God, how do You like me now? Suck on this!!!
He grunted and groaned from the force of his efforts as that golden turd slowly emerged. Straight to earth it fell, his greatest gift to his minions...his greatest insult to God and humanity. It finally landed in a place called Queens where it began to grow...and it was named Donald.