This is a transcript of the moments leading up to Trump making the decision to strike Soleimani. Note that this is a verbatim transcript made from a recording of the event, unlike the “transcript” released of the “perfect call.” I cannot reveal my source, so don’t ask.
[Fox News on in background, SEAN HANNITY’S voice audible, but unclear]
TRUMP: Did you hear that? Did you hear that? This guy dissed me on Instagram!
GENERAL 1: Which guy, sir?
TRUMP: Solo Mio! That Iraqi guy!
GENERAL 2: That’s Soleimani, sir, and he’s Iranian.
TRUMP: I don’t give a @#&* what his name is or which one of those @$*#hole countries he’s from! He’s a Moslem and he mocked me on Instagram! I want him dead! Now!
GENERAL 1: Sir, we need to game out the consequences, short term and long—
TRUMP: @#$* that! Holy crap! Did you hear that from Hannity? He posted something else about me on Instagram! I’m gonna tweet about that scummy loser...
[Loud tapping on iPhone is heard]
GENERAL 2: We need to plan how this is going to—
TRUMP: (aloud) ... Back. To. The. Stone. Age. And. Even. Farther. Back. To. The. Bronze. Age.
KUSHNER: I’m not sure, but I think the Bronze Age was after the Stone Age.
TRUMP: Shut, up, Jerald!
KUSHNER: (mumbling) Jared.
TRUMP: I want Solo Mio dead! Now!
GENERAL 1: Sir, if I may, George Conway tweets negative stuff about you all the time and we don’t hit him with a—
TRUMP: Kellyanne takes care of that #$* hole!
KELLYANNE: He’s not getting so much as a hand local until mid-March at the earliest.
TRUMP: Drone this guy. Right @#&*ing now!
GENERALS 1&2: (quietly) &$#*...