Every Monday morning on Facebook, I submit a post that tries to contextualize the Covid death count. I use the number of deaths on that day and find an image of what that looks like. When the numbers started to get into the thousands, I used arenas, then stadiums, and then when the numbers got too large for that, I moved to cities. I posted about that here, in a photo diary. (If you follow that link, it was posted on July 27 when the number was at 150,000 dead).
Well I woke up today with the number at 236,500 (according to WorldOMeters) and it turns out there isn’t a US city that conveniently lines up with it. So without planning or any forethought, I just started typing. I think it was stream of consciousness, but I just kept writing. I thought I’d share it here, too.
It’s always risky putting your heart on your sleeve, but here it goes…..
There isn't a US City with a population of about 236,500. So I'll just say that since Covid-19 hit our shores, we have had nearly a quarter million Americans die from it.
The numbers are so large now that it's difficult to summon any emotion about it. However, there is a collective sorrow and fear we should be experiencing. By now most people reading this will have known at least one person to die (peripherally or directly). With the number growing larger and larger, and the rate of death of those infected remaining fairly constant (about 2.5%), it is creeping closer to you and your family. If not stopped, there won't be much anybody can do to avoid contracting it, except perhaps never leaving your house and adhering to surgical room cleanliness and procedures at all times. I'm not sure that's possible. I look at my FB friends and their posts and so many of them have had vacations and trips and still press on. A modified life, but a life nonetheless. It's wonderful to see we're adapting, but I can't help but feel sad about it. Taking a bathtub sized amount of sanitizing gel and wipes everywhere we go. Wiping down surfaces and our hands so often, you damage your own skin trying to remain safe. Facemasks and face shields. It's all necessary b/c you simply don't know where someone infected will exhale next to you and you breathe it in. And if you do, will you get sick? Will you be part of the few who feel "off" but not really? Meanwhile, you're a superspreader yourself, perhaps? Or will you get sick and feel terrible and lose your sense of smell and taste? Maybe you'll need hospitalization but eventually you get back on your feet and say, "Wow, that was awful, but let's carry on," unaware of how your "new" life will be because the long term effects of what this virus does to our body isn't really known. Or perhaps you're one of the 2.5% and you get to say goodbye to a nurse or doctor as you beg them to let your family know your last words because dying alone is what was in the cards for you the day you were born?
I've had enough. And with this asshat in the oval office, threatening to fire the leading expert on this type of contagion, well that cliff we're rushing toward just got a lot closer.
I can't do mediocre leadership anymore. I can't do reality TV star. I want boring back. I want to not think about all of this all of the time. I want to go back to my office. I want to be able to take a client out to dinner and meet a friend in a bar. I want a hug from someone not in my house.
236,500 dead and counting. For every 100,000 new cases (which seem to be a daily occurrence now), 2,500 people will die. It's a mathematical certainty. I think I will go vomit now, because human life is meaningful to me. I care. Why do those who lead us not care? Why are they such awful people?
For those still reading this, please know that I have love in my heart for you and who you are to me. Some of you are long time friends from elementary school or high school or college. Some of you are family, regardless how distant. Some are fraternity brothers and some are work colleagues. Many of you I know through my work in the City of Mountain View and my time as an elected [mayor]. Regardless of how I got to know you, you are worth your life. You have value and dignity. We should not be treated this way by our government. This isn't politics. It's simply immoral.
Vote this guy and all of his enablers out of office and then, and only then, will we have a fighting chance of hugging again. And believe me, when it is safe to do so, I will want a hug.