For me, Mother's Day has always been a day on, not a day off. It has been a day to mark passages in my children's' lives and in my own journey learning to be a mother. A day to contemplate things I might have done right and to reflect upon my many mistakes, and especially to connect with my gratitude that, despite my mistakes, my children love me and seem to want me to continue on in my imperfectly-played role. So, for me, and others like me who think way too much, Mother's Day is a mixture of equal parts joy, pride, gratitude and heartbreak. As well, it is an acknowledgement that I was given 2 kids amazing in their own right despite my faults, and 4 amazing steps who are people who, had I not met them through their father, I would have chosen for friends anyway. They are all spectacular. There is ample reason for the joy, pride, and gratitude.
The heartbreak is out-sized this year, though. This is not the world I wanted to leave them. We, all of us, are leaving them such a mess to clean up. We try so hard every day to be in the moment, to enjoy every beautiful thing, to listen to the birds long enough to hear the conversations within the songs. And yet, underlying every precious moment right now is the awareness that these precious things are breaking down, are going away, are changing us forever. We all want our children to have better lives than we had, to be more than we were. I never dreamed that would take the form of requiring them to all be greater heroes than any of our generation were called to be. For all of the Mothers and Fathers out there, it falls to you now to give these heroes every resource you've got, and help them try to find a way forward. Try to give them hope. Try to be their hero, even if your cape is torn and you can't remember where you parked your batmobile. They still need you. Here's a picture of my hero.