Alcohol consumption has gone up during stay-at-home restrictions. Going to bars, though, hasn't proven to be safe in terms of avoiding Covid-19. But who likes to drink alone? Here are five sober but unreasonable ideas to eventually make going to a virus-free single malt and Belgium beer bar feasible:
- Every potential patron would have to pass a two-week quarantine in an adjoining micro-hotel room to the bar before being allowed to enter the bar itself.
- Instead of the usual temperature being displayed in big lighted digits on the outside of a beer case, a bar would show the bar's virus droplet count with a digital read-out above its entrance door.
- Fauci-approved space helmets with hermetically sealed suction sipping straws would be issued to ànd fitted on patrons before entering.
- Giant breath-droplet extraction machines would immediately suck out breath droplets before they had a chance to circulate. An atmosphere similar to that found at sea level complete with soft breezes would be constantly pumped into the bar.
- Body temperatures would be checked at the door with a laser thermometer aimed at the head. Thereafter, health attendants would walk around taking patrons’ body temperature at the wrist pulse. An elevated temperature would cause the patron's bar stool floor beneath her to open up, and the patron would be ceremoniously but quickly dropped through a chute into a waiting ambulance.
Do you have any other good ideas?