It’s a hard time. These are some dark days, for sure. No need for me to list all our immediate concerns, I suspect we are well aware of them.
In the past week or two I’ve heard and seen the depression and desolation (not far from desperation) in several loved ones. I’ve felt it rumble in my own stomach.
Our large, loving family hasn't suffered as much as some, but no one is doing well. We haven’t been able to be together much for so long, the bonds are, well, a bit frayed. Simple misunderstandings can become long silences (and it’s not like there is nothing to disagree about these days./s) Some of the elderly in our fam are actually dying. Others are struggling with serious issues privately, and our grandchildren are growing up in a world that we never imagined.
And yet, and yet.
I don’t think we are failing.
We are struggling. We are mostly all of us struggling. Mostly everyone, everywhere. Does that make it easier? Recognizing that we are not alone in our struggles to face an uncertain future? I don’t know.
But I do know we are still here. And we are still going on. I love this poem by Langston Hughes. I used to teach it to my students at the detention center where I taught a poetry unit every summer in the 90s and early 00s.
Mother to Son
by Langston Hughes
Well, son, I’ll tell you:
Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.
It’s had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor—
Bare;
But all the time
I’se been a’climbin’ on,
And reachin’ landin’s,
And turnin’ corners,
And sometimes goin’ in the dark,
Where there ain’t been no light.
So boy, don’t you turn back;
Don’t you sit down on the steps,
’Cause you finds it’s kinder hard;
Don’t you fall now—
For I’se still goin’, honey,
I’se still climbin’,
And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.
Sometimes I get really down. It’s hard not to. Sometimes my own top social issues really weigh me down (climate change and racism, but I could go on for a long time) and I get overwhelmed with my powerlessness. My SO tends to go to anger when he gets down about politics and the world situation, so we’re not very productive. He’s been angry a lot since TFG cheated his way in. I know he’s not alone.
I follow Black Kos a lot, and it’s humbling. More than once I’d hear my husband talk about not feeling safe anymore, in a way I’d never heard him talk before. Because, for example, these people at the rural mountain Walmart who were glaring at us in our masks as if we were the devil himself, these people are our neighbors! People judging you, hating you, not even seeing you. I tried not to hate them back, but it wasn’t easy.
It occurred to me that this is what life is like for most POC all.the.time. every.where.they.go. I shared my insight bluntly with my SO. It was a stunning revelation. After that, we pledged that would not live in fear, only caution.
I thought about the Black people I have known in my life. Or known of. I’ve only had the nerve to ask one how she keeps on going, keeps on fighting, keeps on teaching and reaching for more and better day after day in the struggle for racial justice and equality for women and protection of children. And she basically told me the same thing as the Mother told the Son in Langston Hughes’ poem:
I just think about those that came before me, and what they went through. They didn’t give up, and neither will I.
- Denise Oliver Velez
As long as we are standing, as long as we are fighting, writing, voting, talking, teaching, working, sharing, we are not giving up. As long as we are loving, we are not failing.
I used to watch Melissa Harris-Perry on MSNBC back in the day, and I remember how she used to close each show with the words her father taught her:
The struggle continues…
It struck me at the time that this struggle has been going on for centuries for some Americans while others of us have not been as invested as we could have or should have been. But the struggle is not new. And it is not over. As long as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, as long as I have breath in my lungs and love in my heart…
I am not failing. I’m still here. I’m still fighting.
Please consider sharing the sayings or adages that give you inspiration and hope in the comments. Stories or experiences are welcome, also.