Dear Gov. Cuomo,
You asked why the women who have accused you lately did not object at the time. The answer has three parts: power, safety, and responsibility.
Power: In order to push back when offended, women need to feel empowered. If they are employed by the State of New York, you are their boss, either directly or indirectly. Therefore, an imbalance of power is built in to the situation. In addition, we live in a country where females are socialized to be disempowered, as well as to suffer in silence when men offend them. If you didn’t know that before, you know it now. The woman you met at a wedding was just doing what women are trained to do, namely take it and shut up. Next time you are introduced to a woman, it is OK to shake hands with her, but do not touch any other part of her body. If you are attracted to her, let her know in some other way, e.g. verbally.
Safety: If you are her boss, she is not wrong to wonder whether speaking up will land her in trouble of one type or another. Retaliation happens; she is justified in being afraid that it might happen to her. In addition, if she is meek or shy, she may not feel safe having the spotlight shining on her. Also, history tells women that coming forward alone is a good way to be picked off and shut down, if not also penalized. Coming forward as part of a herd is safer. The military sends cargo ships and trucks in convoys for the same reason. Understanding this will help you to understand why victims of Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein waited until they felt safe. It was no different for you.
Responsibility: By asking why they did not object at the time, you are placing responsibility on them to react rather than acknowledging the responsibility you have to act appropriately in the first place. That is a form of blaming the victim. Because you are an attorney, you do not need me to lecture you about victim blaming. You already know why it is wrong.
Bottom line: Don’t be a perp anymore. And stop pretending that what you did was OK. You can’t spin it away, and doubling down as you have been doing only makes you look, um, unfit for office.