Last week I posted a joke diary that got decent feedback, so I thought, nu, will try again?
I’ll post my favorite new joke of the week, and if you feel so inclined, please add yours.
With the fires, the fascists' in Texas, COVID, the floods…..and everything else going on, a joke couldn’t hurt.
It reminds me of an old classic Jewish joke, one of my favorites. I will follow this by my originally intended joke of the week.
Ok…..and back to my new joke for the week:
THE YIDDISH ZODIAC
For those who frequent Chinese restaurants and see the placemats showing the Chinese zodiac
(You know, the year of the rat, the year of the monkey, etc.) -- well, here is the official Jewish equivalent. Now you can find out who you are!
1907, 1919, 1931, 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003, 2015
You're a healer, nourishing all whom you encounter. We feel better just being in your presence. Mothers want to bring you home to meet their children -- resist this at all costs. Compatible with Bagel and Knish.
1908, 1920, 1932, 1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004, 2016
You've got a devious personality, since you're made with neither eggs nor cream. Friends find your pranks refreshing; others think you're too frothy. Compatible with Blintz, who also has something to hide.
The Year of CHOPPED LIVER
1909, 1921, 1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993, 2005, 2017
People either love you or hate you, making you wonder, "What am I, chopped liver?" But don't get a complex; you're always welcome at the holidays! Bagel's got your back.
1910, 1922, 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006,2018
Creamy and dreamy, you're rightfully cautious to travel in pairs. You play it coy, but word is that, with the right topping, you turnover morning, noon and night. Compatible with Schmear.
1911, 1923, 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007, 2019
Working class with a grating exterior, you're a real softie on the inside. Kind of plain naked, but when dressed up you're a real dish. Compatible with Schmear's cousin Sour Cream.
1912, 1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996, 2008, 2020
You're pliable and always bounce back, although you feel something's missing in your centre. If this persists, get some therapy. Compatible with Schmear and Lox. Latke and Knish, not so much.
1913, 1925, 1937, 1949,1961,1973,1985,1997, 2009, 2021
You're the perfect sidekick: friends love your salty wit and snappy banter, but you never overshadow them. That shows genuine seasoning from when you were a cucumber. Marry Pastrami later in life.
1914, 1926, 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974,
You blend well with others but often spread yourself too thin. A smooth operator, you could use some spicing up now and then. Compatible with Bagel and Lox. Avoid Pastrami -- wouldn't be kosher.
1915, 1927, 1939, 1951, 1963, 1975, 1987, 1999, 2011, 2023
Brisket's hipper sibling, always smokin' and ready to party. You spice up life, even if you keep your parents up at night. Compatible with Pickle, who's always by your side.
The Year of BLACK AND WHITE COOKIE
1916, 1928, 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012, 2024
Kids love you, but make up your mind! Are you black or white? Cake or cookie? You say you're "New Age," all yin & yang. We call it "bipolar." Sweetie, you're most compatible with yourself.
1917, 1929, 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001, 2013, 2025
Flaky on the surface, you're actually a person of depth and substance. Consider medical or law school, but don't get too wrapped up in yourself.
Compatible with Pickle. Avoid Lox, who's out of your league.
1918, 1930, 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002, 2014, 2026
Thin and rich, you're very high maintenance: all you want to do is bask in the heat, getting some color. Consider retiring to Boca. Compatible with Bagel and Schmear, although you top them both .
Ok, ok, where mine, two for one this time, any good? Do you have one of your own? Post it please.