This started last News Years Day, when Flaviane Carvalho was called in at the last minute to fill- in for a shift as a waitress at Mrs. Potato in Orlando, Florida.
Indeed, sometimes there are moments when we are put in the right place at just the right time to make a difference in our world.
Especially if you have a big heart, a keen eye, and are aware of the signs and know what to look for.
A family of four came in for a New Years meal, and immediately Flaviane, who has a teenager of her own, could feel something was off.
The boy was sullen and had a hoodie over his head, he wouldn’t make eye contact with anyone and he leaned his body away from everyone else.
As Flaviane described, he “secluded” himself.
And then when she took the order, and she asked the 11- year- old what he wanted, the father told her that he had already eaten and would get something else to eat when they got home.
As she worked around them at nearby tables, she kept her eyes on the boy.
When he pulled up his sleeves, she saw bruises.
“I could see he had a big scratch between his eyebrows. A couple of minutes later, I saw a bruise on the side of his eye. So I felt there was something really wrong.”
She felt sick to her stomach.
“Minute after minute, I was feeling something stronger and stronger that pushed me to pay attention to the boy.”
So she went in the back and wrote on a piece of paper, ‘‘Do you need help?’
And when the adults was occupied and looking elsewhere, behind them, she showed the boy the sign.
The boys eyes immediately misted over and ever so gently nodded his head ‘yes’.
So she went to her work station and wrote, ‘OK’
And when the boy saw it, he nodded and made a motion with his hands indicating that just he didn’t know what to do.
She walked in the back and told the owner, Rafaela Cabede, that the boy was in trouble and they both agreed for her to call 911.
She told the dispatcher about their interaction and, “I’m super concerned and I don’t know what to do, can you give me some advice? What I can do? The boy is with bruises and he's not eating. The others are eating.”
The police, with detectives in tow, came within minutes, and after speaking with the boy, they arrested there and then the step- father, Timothy Lee Wilson, but at the time, allowed his mother to leave with his 4- year- old sister.
But after further revelations, she too was soon arrested.
It’s not my groove to repeat what exactly the boy was subjected to, but suffice it to say, it was unimaginable and sustained.
In one word… torture.
Said Orlando Police Chief Orlando Rolón, “Because of her, two children were saved. We probably would have been talking about a potential homicide investigation if she had not intervened when she did.”
He then took a more philosophical turn.
“I believe this was divine intervention. What motivated her to not ignore the situation is heroic in my opinion. The life of the child was saved due to her actions and for that she is our hero. The courage Flaviane exemplified is inspiring and demonstrates there is more good than evil in this world.”
Rafaela concurred, “We truly believe that this was a holy provision and we are very blessed that we were able to help this child. This has to encourage other people. When you see something, say something. We know that speaking up is the right thing to do, but it takes more than acknowledging. It takes courage.”
Said a police spokesman, “What this child had gone through, it was torture. Seeing what that 11-year-old had to go through, it shocks your soul.”
“We firmly believe that without her asking him if he needed help and calling 911, he would have gone even longer without eating or drinking and continuing to be tortured at the hands of Mr. Wilson. Had she not said anything, I believe law enforcement and the child protection team thought he probably could have died,” said Assistant D.A. Lauryn Day.
So on the New Years Day, many lives were changed and new trajectories formed.
A few days after, Rafaela started a gofundme to help her financially struggling waitress maybe take a vacation or buy a newer car.
But Flaviane felt a different calling, and has settled on a new path.
She has taken the funds, now at over $60k, and founded a nonprofit called Flaviane Carvalho Foundation Against Abuse, with a goal to educate the public on signs of abuse so everyone will be able to step up as a hero.
When you are placed at the right place at the right time.
Just a few months back, Timothy Lee Wilson was given several life sentences, and the judge let him have it telling him that he was getting off easy because if it was totally up to him…..
The mother, Kristen Swann, will spend many years in prison.
Enough said about them.
As for the boy, he and his sister have been placed in a loving foster home with the intention of having them adopted together.
And Flaviane has been allowed to see them often, which she does.
“I’m super glad. I’m happy for him. It just warms my heart that now he has a better chance in life and he’s being treated well and feeling love and being taken care of.
I think I was a tool in God’s hand. I just did what human beings are supposed to do for others, especially kids. I’m feeling sad for him, but I’m so proud because he also had the courage to ask for help and I’m so glad that he did.”
Said Director of Behavioral Health Services for Catholic Charities of Central Florida, Catherine Galda, “Taking a few moments to educate ourselves about the signs can mean the world to a child in distress. Unfortunately, COVID-19 has served to exacerbate and increase levels of abuse among children. As difficult as this can be to imagine, we as a community are not powerless to intervene.”
Allow me to paraphrase a belief….
When you immediately feel something, from the ‘heart’ as it were, or from the ‘gut’…. very often we mind- fuck ourselves and begin to doubt that our initial thought is valid and the correct one, and second guess and start doubting what just a moment before we felt sure of, and soon we talk ourselves out of that instantaneously initial belief.
If you feel something to be true, go with it.
Like Flaviane.
“I want to leave a message that, ‘Hey, let’s wake up. Let’s look around and love our neighbors.’ If you see something, say something.”
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3.6 million cases of child abuse are reported every year in the U.S. Abused and neglected children are 11 times more likely to engage in criminal behavior as an adult. About 80% of 21-year-olds who were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder.
More than 600,000 children are abused in the U.S each year.
It's estimated that at least 1 in 7 children in the US has experienced child abuse and/or neglect in the past year.
www.dosomething.org/...
For crisis intervention, information, referrals, and support, contact the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453. For 24/7 crisis support at your fingertips, contact the Crisis Text Line by texting DS to 741741.
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It’s estimated that at least 1 in 7 children in the US has experienced child abuse and/or neglect in the past year.
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Neglect is the most common form of child abuse, followed by physical abuse, sexual abuse, and psychological abuse.
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In 2018, about 16% of children who were abused experienced more than one kind of maltreatment.
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Boys and girls experience similar rates of childhood abuse (48.6% and 51% respectively).
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Rates of child abuse and neglect are 5 times higher for children in families with low socio-economic status compared to children in families with higher socio-economic status.
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Children younger than one year old are the most vulnerable to maltreatment, accounting for almost half of child fatalities from abuse in 2018.
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In 2018, 76% of child abuse perpetrators were a parent to their victim.
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In 2018, 62% of children placed in foster care were removed from their homes due to abusive neglect, totaling over 160,000 children.
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Children who experienced any form of violence in childhood have a 13% greater likelihood of not graduating from high school.
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Adult survivors of childhood abuse are more likely to experience mental health difficulties, including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, PTSD, eating disorders, and substance use disorders.
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Adult survivors of childhood abuse are more likely to engage in high-risk behaviors like smoking, alcohol and drug use, and unsafe sex. They’re also more likely to report overall lower health than those who haven’t experienced childhood abuse.
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National Child Abuse Hotline: 24/7 at 1-800-422-4453
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 24/7 at 1-800-799−7233
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 24/7 at 1-800-656-4673
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) Helpline: 24/7 at 1-800-622-4357
Crisis Text Line: 24/7 text DS to 741741
We are the key, friends.
With our awareness, our eyes and our expansive hearts.
XO!