Had an odd thought today. Nothing of great significance, really, just an amusing little “What If” suitable for a Sunday afternoon.
It has been widely speculated that the Former Fellow’s seemingly ironclad grip on the souls of Republican office-holders may be a result of the Fellow’s possession of compromising materials hoovered up by Vladimir Putin’s hackers in 2016, emails which the FBI confirmed the Russians lifted but which were never made public, as Democrats’ were.
The idea that nearly every Republican congresscritter has been fiscally or friskilly naughty is hardly beyond belief, and speculating on the details of said naughtiness could take up more hours than I’d care to devote to the task.
So, rather than exhaust ourselves considering the corruptions or kinks that could worry many in the Republican caucus, let’s look at the very few ‘Pubs who haven’t bowed down before the Orange Cow.
Mitt? Well, a guy with car elevators and dancing horses probably isn’t strapped for dough, and the kickiest thing he’s tried was probably Tabasco. Liz Cheney? Whatever skeletons she might have, you can bet she’s learned to keep ‘em tight in the family man-sized safe. The Cheneys’ job isn’t providing kompromat, it is collecting it.
Who else? Pence? Newly-liberated Renfield, it is safe to assume, has never been allowed by Mother to get close enough to anything more tempting than flies.
Those casting stones at Himself and the Self Mob appear to be without sin, or at least easily detected sins. The bulk of the caucus? Well, while the Gaetzes and Gyms might have fairly obvious Achilles heels, it’s not hard to imagine almost any modern Republican in congress having something better left undisturbed.
And, if it is so easy for us to imagine the sorts of sins that could trip up a promising pol if known, there’s no telling what they themselves might imagine Himself has evidence of.
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And here’s the bit of speculation that caused me to chuckle today: What if there really isn’t anything much?
Think about it. Himself is famous for both bullshitting about assets and playing mumbly mouth mobster games with language. I have no trouble whatsoever imagining him suggesting to a Rubio or a Cruz that the Russians found “really bad stuff” and letting them wonder if he meant, you know, that thing…
No way to know, of course, and it will have little bearing on Himself and Company’s future legal adventures. But I found it amusing to think of nearly everyone in this once-respected party cowering before this boorish dotard for six years, believing he had the goods on them when all the while it was nothing more than his usual bullshit.