I missed the Oscars. I usually miss the Oscars, unless I’m with a friend who wants to watch them. I don’t really care who did and didn’t get an Academy Award. Anyway, everyone will be talking about the show for days afterward. So, I don’t really have to watch them. I’ll know what happened whether I want to or not.
Last night, the Oscars were interesting, briefly. Chris Rock made a tasteless joke about Will Smith’s wife. The lady took offense, and Will Smith went up on the stage and slapped him.
Much of Chris Rock’s humor is in questionable taste. So the joke should surprise no one. The slap, of course did. Mostly, stars don’t hit people, at least not in public. Frank Sinatra slugged a reporter once, I think. But that was the exception.
As a rule, if a celebrity slugs someone it’s in the privacy of someone’s home, not in front of an audience.
Anyway, for a very brief moment, the Oscars were interesting.
I’m trying to remember the last time that happened.
James Cameron got an award for Titanic and called for a moment of silence for all the people who had died when the unsinkable ship went down. Then he broke the moment, by brandishing his statue, and shouting “I’m king of the world!” That was close to interesting.
Back in the seventies, Marlon Brando was awarded Best Actor, for his role in “The Godfather”. He didn’t come to the Oscars that night. Instead, he sent a very attractive woman, of Indigenous heritage, who refused the statue, quite dramatically, on Brando’s behalf, and denounced the way Indigenous peoples were portrayed in Hollywood movies.
It was a lot better than yet another boring speech.
In 1974, streaking, running through a public space naked, was all the rage. Some guy streaked the Oscars that year. The cameras got him from the waist up, showing his impressive crop of chest hair.
The crowd, laughed and cheered. David Niven, who was presenting that night, held up his hand to silence them, and when they were quiet, said calmly, “You realize that that is the only thing that man will every be remembered for, for the rest of his life.”
David Niven had class.
Something that was in short supply at the last round of Academy Awards.
Will Smith got an Academy Award for Best Actor. He was sitting with his wife, who looks good with her head shaved, Most people would not.
When Hattie McDaniel got the award for Best Actress In A Supporting Role, she had to sit at a table by herself. In her acceptance speech, she promised to be a “credit to her race”.
I’m sure she wanted to slap a few people that night. But she knew better.
As I said, the Oscars don’t interest me. They don’t interest a lot of people. The ratings go down every year.
The most popular movies that come out of Hollywood these days are the ones that appeal to males aged 18 to 35. They feature lots of action, special effects, nudity, and crude humor, because that’s what the audience likes.
18 to 35 year old males aren’t going to watch a movie like “CODA”, which won best picture this year. They don’t care about deaf people. They aren’t going to be interested in a young girl’s aspirations, unless she’s a prostitute or a stripper.
They will watch the parody, when it comes out. They will enjoy watching deaf people being mocked. They will like the gratuitous nudity, and tasteless jokes, of the kind Chris Rock told on Oscar night.
But because their kind of movies aren’t nominated for Oscars, they don’t watch them.
If you don’t subscribe to Amazon’s streaming service, you can’t see “CODA”. Presumably subscriptions will go up, now that the movie has gotten an Oscar. But it still won’t be as popular as the next super hero movie.
Maybe there should be a new category. Best movie with bad writing, dumb dialog and great special effects. That would bring in a wider audience.
I still won’t watch the Ocars, because I still will not care who wins what.
After two years in something close to solitary confinement, I want to watch a good screwball comedy, like “Bringing Up Baby” or “What’s Up Doc”. But Hollywood doesn’t make those anymore.
At next year’s Oscars, they will be very careful that nobody does anything they shouldn’t. The show will be a snooze. Because the Oscars are always a snooze, unless someone misbehaves.