My wife died, on the 10th of March, of this year.
We had been married ten years.
I am truly struggling to write this, because I feel physically sick.
Not severely sick, just sick enough that I have to force myself to eat.
I am told that is normal.
I do not feel so sick, all day, every day,
but way too much of way too many days.
For some reason, I was not having too much troubles, for about the first month after she died. Then, this sick feeling got way more frequent, taking a larger part of more of my days, more than a month after she died.
I am writing this Daily Kos diary, to help myself feel better.
Hey, I think it is starting to work, just a little, already.
Anyway.
Every night, just a little after midnight, I post comments at the Itzl Alert Network:
www.dailykos.com/…
There is a small group there who are regulars there, and I am building a fairly close relationship with at least a few of them. So, the rest of you may not know me, or about my grief. That is why I decided to post this diary, to get even more support, if that is possible. I do not need money, just kind words. Unless you can think of something else I have not thought of. Like an in person visit with some of you. I live in Wichita, Kansas, and I have no car.
I have some interaction with my late wife’s family, and they love me and hug me, but they are Republicans.
I am gradually getting to know my nieces and nephews, on my side of the family, but it is a gradual process. For example, one niece called me a day or two ago, and we talked a long time, so I am getting to know her, and she helped me, with that call. She is almost 50 years old, and the last time I saw her, she was a little girl or maybe a teenager. I failed to stay in touch, over the years.
I often feel better, when I look at this YouTube channel:
www.youtube.com/…
It did not work this time, but I will try another video, later.
Well, maybe I need to force myself to eat something, take a walk, do some chores, pick up trash, chat with neighbors.
I suppose I will post this diary, as is.
I look forward to your comments.
I never know, for sure, what will help me.
Thanks for reading.