Five days ago, I wrote a diary about religion.
Organized religion. I stated that in my first sentence. I didn’t put that stipulation in the title of my diary, and maybe that was the first misstep.
Throughout, my tone was irreverent. Flippant. Pointed. All of those things. This, undoubtedly, contributed to the overwhelming response as manifested in the comments. I will say, though, that I never delved into any individuals of any religion. I was not talking about people; I was talking about the institution. The grand concept of what religion is, as a social construct.
Then I got down to brass tacks, which was the fact that some religious folks in this country want to suppress those who disagree with them, to the point of killing us, and the bloodthirst is ratcheting up here. Now. That was my ultimate point, which in the course of the discussion fell by the wayside.
I did not expect the reaction that the diary received. I certainly did not expect the conversation to continue to reverberate for five solid days. I don’t know how to respond to that, and to the vehemence of some in the various corners.
But the last thing I expected was some of the vitriol that came about from the non-believers (of which I count myself in that category: I identify as agnostic, having come through a winding trail from Christianity [Protestantism], paganism, Gnosticism, and now agnosticism).
Some of the comments I could not recommend. This was agonizing for me, as it was my own diary, and I picked up along the years of being part of the DK community here that you rec comments in your own diary as a way of thanking that person for participating in the conversation.
I couldn’t do that.
I got to the point where I felt that the back and forth in the comments, which became less and less civil as time went on, necessitated me taking the diary down. I contemplated this sincerely and thoroughly. I wrote a Kosmail to someone here (if that person wants to acknowledge this portion of this diary as being true, that’s up to them; I just want to establish that this really was something that occurred) and shared that this was what I was weighing, that this was my real urge, my real inclination.
I related an analogy, a happenstance that a friend had related to me. And, as it turns out, I had already chronicled that happenstance in a diary, so I will pull from it and place it here:
A friend of mine once told me of an encounter he had, sitting at a counter in a diner next to another White guy. They were just chit-chatting, passing time as strangers are wont to do; and my friend said there must have been some combination of words that he’d exchanged (he speculated he may have mentioned lower taxes or some signal of conservatism or libertarianism). The floodgates opened, he said. It was like my friend had stumbled upon a skeleton key, and what he’d unlocked was this vast store of abject racial derogation and slurs. Apparently, that stranger felt he’d found kindred.
It was code my friend didn’t know was code.
As I said in the Kosmail, “My friend was taken aback, so much so that he actually related the scenario back to me, a Black woman. He was mortified that his words could spring that closed box. And I felt some of that in the comments of my diary.”
I somehow unlocked something. And while some may say that the ensuing conversations have been interesting or growth-inspiring or something that needed to be said, I feel responsible, and for that I feel the need to apologize. Not for the words of my actual diary—sorry for those who may be seeking that—but for somehow signaling this green-light of vitriol. That was not what my diary was about, and it’s not what I’m about. It’s certainly not what the community here deserves.
I will say two things, and then that will be my peace.
First, the believing folk who kept trotting out that many good people who have done good things, in this country even, were Christians and/or religious (Barack Obama, MLK Jr., Jimmy and Rosalind Carter). That’s fine. That’s great. That’s also a conflation. I was not speaking about individual people; I was not speaking about individual sects, or belief types or stripes or any of that. I was speaking to religion as a social construct.
It’s difficult to separate a social institution from the people who make up the living construct. But that’s what I did in the diary, and many people in the comments did not. By making this conflation, the comments went sideways in a hurry, and misunderstandings piled up. That brings me sorrow.
By conflating the institution with the people, then defending the people, you get to the misguided view that criticizing the construct is criticizing the people, and thus bigoted. This is a logical error.
I may have blind spots; feel free to continue to call me out on those. In the nature of blind spots, I can’t see them. But please let none of us misattribute things and then attack that misattribution.
Second, to the people who came out of the woodwork to put in their bit about how religion has hurt them (usually, in the United States, Christianity takes the spot as “religion” as it remains the dominant one in place in our society), all I can say is, I didn’t mean to sanction some of the harsh sentiments. I understand that some of us have received harsh treatment from religious corners. I’m not saying you don’t have a right to say how you feel. I just wish that my diary hadn’t triggered this avalanche.
I will say that I will try to do better in the future. Some folks in the comments made note that my imprecision in wording led to some blurring of focus, which did not help as the comments went off the rails. But I can’t promise that I won’t say something that is irreverent and that will piss some people off. After certain diaries I’ve written, I’ve come to realize that I am going to say things that will make some of you very mad at me. (There’s one topic in particular I’m really anxious to write, but I know will make me very unpopular.) I guess I’ll apologize here in advance.
But I want you to know that none of them come from a place of intolerance, or bigotry, or any of that. Organized religion is a tool of power. I’m here to speak truth to power. I think all of us here are. We won’t survive otherwise.
To wrap, I’ll reprise the end of my aforementioned diary, the one that got this place in such a tailspin, as the point is the one that I think is the most important. (It’s better in context.)
But now we are back in the grip of nationwide madness. True, at the moment only about 1 out of 5 Americans (1 out of 3 conservatives) believe in this new and ultra-fundamentalist point of view, but this extreme version is decked out with the imposition of beliefs on others via normally outside-of-game (secular) means. This historically has led to death by religious means.
No one wants to hear that their most cherished beliefs are a game. But that’s just what they are—beliefs. No one deserves to be oppressed to the point of death just so some insiders can keep pretending there’s just one game.